Saturday, March 14, 2015

If the good old days were so good, why don't you live them?

I've seen some things on Facebook that follow a similar theme and they make me wonder.  One set says something like, "If I talked to my Mom and Dad like my kids (or other people's kids) talk to me, I'd get the crap beat out of me."  Another set says something about how as kids we played in vacant lots, ate sugar, walked to school, took aspirin, had vaccinations, etc etc etc ad nauseum, like and share if you aren't dead yet.

And this is all well and good, but it makes me wonder, if you liked those things so much, why don't you raise your own kids like that?

So, your kids are rude to you.  Who taught them that?  Who says you can't teach your children to be polite and respectful to you and to others?  Who keeps you from bursting their privileged bubble and telling them that you love them very much but Copernicus called and they are not the center of the universe?  Who made them think they were the center anyway?  OK, you can't beat the crap out of your kids, but how does that teach respect anyway?  Why didn't you raise kids you can send out in public and know they will be respectful, helpful, and kind?

No, don't answer that.  I don't care.  Just quit whining.

Part two: I drive my kids all over the place, pay for expensive lessons and teams, and they can't do anything by themselves.

STOP!!!!!  Stop driving them all over the place.  Stop paying for lessons they don't want but you are doing because you think they need structure.  Let them go play in vacant lots.  If you've put that little Facebook poster up, you probably don't live somewhere that is too dangerous to let your kids play in the front yard.  And by danger, I mean random shootings and rabid coyotes, not imaginary predators.  Please, you taught your kid not to get into a car with strangers, let them practice it.

Stop meeting their every want.  "I had to leave work to bring lunch to my son at school."  Why?  I've seen your son, it's not going to kill him to miss a meal.  It hasn't killed mine.  And then, funny thing, they forget less often.

If you want to drive your kid around, pay for lessons, bring them lunch ---- go ahead, but quit whining about it.  Just do it, but recognize it's your choice.  If you are afraid of the PTA president who looks at you funny if your socks don't match, too bad.  Funny looks don't kill.  Not preparing your child for reality might.  It probably won't, but it might.

And, yeah, I've brought forgotten projects, field trip money, and all kinds of stuff to school for my kids.  Some days you do it, because their lesson is too hard for you to learn.

I'm not saying don't pay for lessons, teams, or instruments/gear/stuff.  If your kid really wants to play... whatever... I say cool.  There are lots of life lessons from team stuff, musical instruments, scouts... but remember the lesson is theirs not yours.  Support your kids, but don't be your kids.

As the Facebook posts say, our parents and grandparents didn't make a profession out of parenting.  Even stay at home Moms did a lot of other things while their kids went outside to play in the drainage ditch... I mean lovely creek.  Just relax, do your job.  Love your kids.  Let them grow up.

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