Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Mark & Jen + 4 million

My husband and I have searched the constitution of SC and discovered that, yes, it is an impeachable offense to refuse to SHUT THE F&%# UP already. Not really, but it ought to be.

I was first asked, "do you know where your governor is?" at the National Alliance for Public Charter Schools, I said, "of course not and who cares?" Then I found out that he was actually missing. The drama played out and the jokes piled up, but no one really thought that a woman would be involved because: 1) everyone knows Jenny has the money, the looks, the brains, and the political savvy in the family & 2) who would do it with that self-centered ice prince unless she was invested in him?

But no, some Argentine chick is his soul-mate. The shared really nauseating e-mails, which unfortunately we all got to see. (Note to self: erase all e-mails.) He has had "media availabilities" in which he rambles about his boyhood on the plantation with the colored folk singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot the farm, his psyche and his "tragic" love affair. Oh for Pete's sake, Mark, Romeo and Juliet is tragic. Mark and Maria is vaudeville.

And do I feel sorry for the tragic hero? Hell no. I feel sorry for Jenny Sanford who has to listen to the father of her children prattling on about his freaking soul-mate and announce to CNN that he will try to learn to love his wife again. Hey, Jen, I got your back. If you run over him with your SUV, I'm pretty sure you'll get off with a speeding ticket.

But I am really sorry for the 4 million citizens of SC who are damn sick and fed up with hearing the words "South Carolina" on late night talk shows. It's bad enough that this self-centered, arrogantly shabby governor has refused to work even with his own party members in the legislature because he's smarter than all of us. It's bad enough that this trust fund baby tried to refuse stimulus money that this poor state desperately needs. It's bad enough that the failed governor of a small southern state has considered taking his brand of elite arrogance to the White House. Now we are embroiled in an absurd lust triangle and are led by the LUV GUV.

And to make it worse, if he resigns, the Lite Guv takes over, and that can't be good.