I have established my 2008 goals. Numbers one and three are ready. Number two is going to require some honing.
I will be healthy as defined:
1) BMI <25
2) Cholesterol range good
3) Thyroid good
4) BP good with medication
I will become an enrolled agent
Both of these are on a pretty chart with an action plan & resources needed. I feel pretty good about number three. I feel OK about number one, even though it's a variation on the same goal I've had for 35 years.
Number two is harder. I will organize & clean my house.
This is hard for several reasons.
Like "being healthy," it requires a change of habit in order to sustain any changes. Unlike being healthy, it requires the cooperation of my household, who share my current sloppy habits. While some of them are more than willing to cooperate (at least in theory), some are comfortable with the disorder. They don't even want to change.
A second problem is that having a clean and organized house has become a great specter for me. It's the THING that stands between me and happiness. You know what I mean? If I lose weight, I'll be happy. If I get my degree, I'll be happy. It's the THING that lets me put my life on hold, spending energy planning for after the THING (craft projects, baking, writing). But life goes on even with the THING in the way, and I need to find a way to do what I want and need to do now.
The third problem may be related to the second. I can't get rid of things. I donated boxes of stuff to a yard sale which was not very successful. Instead of immediately calling the Sunshine House to pick it up, I decided to go through it one more time to see if I might need something. Not only did I come home with all of my junk, I ended up bringing home other people's junk as well. Admittedly, I got a nice baby bouncer for Gabe, but at what price? My "den" is now almost as packed with boxes as my "workshop."
So this goal is about more than cleaning my house. It is about freeing my mind and giving myself permission to let go. And while I understand this in theory, it does not make it any easier for me to throw or give away things.
In the next week or so, I'll set as my goal to find a way to make the Goal more concrete, measurable, and sustainable. Wish me luck.
Where have you been?
5 years ago