Going Green and Blue

We told our children that we were setting the thermostat at 63º because we are concerned about the environment. They are good boys and they buy that. They are all about going green.

The truth is, Bob and I are also about green, by which we mean "money." Our electric bill was 1/3 of what it usually is. When I got it, I told Bob to call and find out what was wrong. Then I realized that was really really stupid, so I paid it and shut up.

When the temperature went below 85º and the humidity went below 90%, we turned off the air conditioner and opened the windows. We liked the low bill. So now that it is getting chilly, we are setting the thermostat on 63º and passing out socks.

We have turned into our parents. And our grandparents.

We always called them cheap, when in fact, they were green.

My great aunt would run water into a pitcher while waiting for it to run hot. In her house, that meant a lot of water. She'd use the water in the pitcher to make lemonade or water her plants, whatever. My grandmother saved aluminum foil to reuse. She also rinsed plastic wrap and stuck in on the side of the fridge to reuse, which I still think is gross. My mom washed plastic disposable plates. Several times.

So now, in the name of green, we are recycling, reusing, reinventing the wheel. My youngest son yells at me if I run water while I brush my teeth. Everyone recycles. We are thinking of starting a compost pile. But most of all, we are walking around in cute little socks and sweaters and laughing at our electric bill.

Sex Education

I really don't understand the problem with schools teaching sex education. Should they learn about it the old fashioned way --- on the street?

My parents would have liked the schools to teach about sex. My experience with sex education in school was particularly painful. I was listening to my fifth grade teacher explain genetic theory to us, when something came over me. An uncontrollable urge to ask a question. I hadn't had an uncontrollable urge to ask a question since third grade, when I asked on what day God made the dinosaurs. That experience taught me to control my questioning urges. But this day, I raised my hand and said, "I understand how babies get the mommy genes, but how do they get the daddy genes?"

There was complete silence. The teacher glared at me, then started sputtering. The kids begin to snicker. A friend later told me that her mother had given her THE TALK the weekend before. It would appear that many parents had given THE TALK already. My Mom didn't get the memo. Or she sent it back corrected, as she often did.

So, I went home and about a month later, asked Mom the same question. She sputtered a little and said she couldn't tell me then, because my brother & sister were in the room. Another week or so later, my parents gave me a book.

The book was published by the Catholic Church. It was called "Take the High Road." The cover had some sort of colorful seventies thing on it. I took the book and read it. Well, most of it. There was a chapter called "For Boys," which I didn't read since I'm not a boy. Duh. The chapter called "For Girls" had the other internal organs and the egg with big eyelashes. I learned you shouldn't go steady too early and that it's OK to have wet dreams. When Mom asked me what I learned, I said you shouldn't go steady too early. I didn't know what wet dreams were, but I had a feeling Mom wouldn't want to talk about them.

Years later, I discovered (or my brother & sister discovered) that all of my missing information was in the chapter called "For Boys." It had pictures of internal organs and sperm that looked like tadpoles. The tadpole and eye-lashed egg never met.

I learned about sex in the upstairs bathroom with a friend who my mother didn't really like. This friend, later voted "girl most likely to" at her high school, told me what men and women do, then primly informed me that she was going to make her husband do it to her when she was asleep. My reaction was, "Not MY parents." I think that's typical.

So I'm all for sex education in school. I think they do better now than "I am Joe's testicle" (remember those films?). Values related to sex should be taught at home, of course. But parents need to teach all kinds of things at home. The school is supplying knowledge, skills, and training. Families, churches, communities need to help kids decide what to do with all of that stuff.

Sex education in school and at home are not mutually exclusive. Schools don't let parents off the hook, but they can supply teachers who are better equipped to teach.

Tuition Vouchers

A study released by the US Education Department comparing the performance of students in public and private schools said that, for the most part, they are about the same, with public schools doing slightly better in everything except 8th grade reading. A study by Harvard concluded that private schools do better across the board. Both studies are going to be used in the debate over vouchers, but as the National Center for Education Statistics, which performed the Education Department study, said, the report is of "modest utility." (The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/15/education/15report.html?ex=1310616000&en=abe96106c55b306f&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss)

(The Arizona Star http://www.blogger.com/www.azstarnet.com/news/140574)

First of all, all public schools are not alike. All private schools are not alike. The study presents an aggregate of test results for all schools all over the country. Private schools range from high class prep schools for the scions of the very wealthy to modern day segregation academies that meet in the basement of the Church of the Self-Righteous Holier Than Thou Better Looking Christians. Many charter schools and alternative public schools concentrate on troubled students. Public schools serve different student populations, even within the same city.


Second, all students are not alike. Race, socio-economics, and culture all play a roll in students' success. Ontop of that, each child has his or her own learning style. Across the board, students with parents or other adults who care about their education do better than those without the support and respect for education.

Third, even if private schools are better than public schools (which I'm not conceding), vouchers won't help.


Private schools don't have to serve all children, and they won't. If a kid doesn't behave or achieve in a private school, they can and will kick him out. Public schools can't do that without great cause. In the old days, most kids dropped out by 6th grade. Now we are trying to educate more kids for a longer time. Public schools don't give up on kids, and that's a good thing.

Private schools cost a lot more than $1000 a year. A tax credit, even a refundable one, isn't going to help a family that can't come up with the tuition up front.

Public schools need money to serve students well. As I've said before, throw money at the right places. Throw money at the faculty and staff of schools. Trust them to know their children and families and teach them well. Hold them to tough but reasonable standards. And remember that they are teaching everyone.

Potty training

This morning on the Today show, they had a segment on people who never use diapers. By following their babies every move and nuance, they know exactly when the baby needs to go, and put them on a potty. There is evidence this can be done.

But just because something CAN be done doesn't mean it SHOULD be done. What is the point? I'd rather spend time kissing and loving the babies rather than waiting for them to pee. That isn't potty training, of course, it's parent training, but I think maybe that's the point. Do they believe children should live in a world without conflict, discomfort or reality? That can't be a good thing. Think what a shock middle school will be.

I consider myself to be an expert on potty training. I have three sons, none of whom wear diapers.

With our oldest son, we read all of the literature on potty training. We listened to Bob's mother, who said all of her children were potty trained by 18 months. We listened to my mother who said they had a big stake in potty training in her day, because they had to wash diapers and she didn't have a washing machine.

We bought books with anatomically correct children using the potty and shared them with our son. We bought a cute, safe potty chair. We bought big boy pants with his favorite characters on them. Still, he refused to use the potty.

Finally, right before his 3rd birthday, on a rainy New Year's eve when I was pregnant with his brother, we ran out of diapers. I looked at my baby and said, "We are out of diapers. You have to use the potty." He said, "OK." And he used the potty from then on. He had no daytime accidents and very few night time accidents.

So, with sons two and three, we didn't worry. We ignored everyone who said they should be out of diapers by 18 months. We gave them books and potties and big boy pants. And they potty trained themselves when they were ready, around three.

Now, let me say, this worked for us. It wouldn't work for a lot of people. I was home with Son 1 and Son 3, and Bob was home with Son 2, so we didn't have the pressure from day care providers who, quite reasonably, don't want to change the diapers of a half dozen three-year-olds. We are fairly laisse-faire parents (or lazy, as my mother often said when she was angry with me). We shower our children we love, books, paper, crayons, love, and books. We don't worry about where they will go to college (even now that Son 1 & 2 are of college age.) We worry that they will be loving, kind, self-assured young men who take care of themselves and others. And so far, they are, mostly.

I guess we'll keep reading the experts and disregarding at least half of what they say. We'll keep showering our children and grandchildren with love, books, crayons and other things we value. And hope they can hold their own in a world where some kids never wore diapers at all.