The Matriarch's Corner

Blogblast4Peace: November 4, 2011

2011-11-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

For the past few months I've (sort of) joined the count-down to the blogblast for peace. Even when I didn't write or post, I read and thought about peace.

I've thought about the Peace of God that passes all understanding.
I've thought about the peace and quiet that comes from hiding in bed in the dark eating bread and cheese.
I've thought of the peaceful feeling that comes from walking with my darlings in the swampy woods.
I've thought of peace and justice; peace and praise; peace and quiet.

I've thought about why we need to blog for peace.

I've blogged for peace because of the wars that have taken my family and friends away from their families and friends. Because of the wars that cause children to grow up believing a bomb shelter is just another room in the house. Because of the wars that poison our world and our lives, that take food from the hungry and warmth from our hearts.

I've blogged for peace because of the war on drugs; because of the war on poverty that has become a war on the poor; because of the war on our freedoms that disguises itself as a war for safety & security.

I've heard that there has always been war and injustice and there always will be. And although that made me sad, it helped me realize something important.

We blog for peace as if war is a crisis. Something different that is happening right now (not yesterday... not tomorrow) and must be addressed immediately but only for today ... something to which we must react.

But war and violence in all of its manifestations are not crises. They are chronic. And as such, Peace must be addressed as a chronic issue.

Yes, we need to blog for peace. We need to march and wave flags for peace. We need to stand up for peace.

And most of all, we need to live Peace. Every day, as much as we can. Peace to grumpy neighbor, peace to the harried mother, peace to the sad businessmen who've misplaced their souls.

Peace, even to those of you who really irritate me. Just for today.

And because this is a world wide blogblast4peace, please check out/check in with the founder and center of this movement.

BlogBlast4Peace2011

I blog for peace because I seek to redeem (65)

2011-10-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

I blog for peace because I seek repemption (66)

2011-10-07T08:45:00.001-07:00

Reason to blog for peace: Coexist

2011-10-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing this picture on Facebook a lot. It seems to resonate with many of my friends. And it's funny, because I've been thinking about this, sort of.

You know how we say, "I respect your opinion," because we know that's what we are supposed to say? And we are thinking, "What a effing moron! I can't believe someone could think like that!"

Well, I think that's ok too. What we could say is, "I respect your right to have an opinion, even if it's different from mine and obviously inferior. Today, I'll even listen to it. Tomorrow, maybe not, cause if I have a headache or a bad day or I'm wasted, I don't want to hear it. But..."

AND THIS IS IMPORTANT

"...but, I will not kill you for having a different belief."

I probably won't even argue. I may ask you to leave me alone. But I won't kill you.

You don't have to like everybody, just COEXIST.

Love, Kathy

2011 Blogblast for Peace: Peace Globe

2011-09-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Like a writing spider, I forget. And like a writing spider, I write to remember.

I blog for peace to remind myself to practice peace.

Act locally: reasons to Blog for Peace

2011-09-19T04:27:00.000-07:00

I have been scattered lately. Is it the change in the weather? I do love me some cool gray days. OK, many of you may not consider 85 F to be cool, but I'm in Columbia, South Cackalacka and we pull out our summer sweaters in late September.

My mind is scattering like the fall leaves (left from last year, most likely) and I can't seem to blog for nuthin. I can't really seem to do much of anything. I have brilliant ideas on many many subjects, from developing a child centered, inquiry based middle school to taking a class on tax forms for non-profit organizations to cleaning my closets and the rooms they are in to knitting Christmas stockings for Brendon and Daniel to... well you see what I'm facing. Myself.

High on the to-do list is: blog4peace. It's not that I haven't thought about why I would blog for peace if I did in fact blog on a regular basis. It's not that I haven't read other blogs that make me consider plagiarism as a way of life. It's not that I don't have ideas. I have lots of ideas. No substance.

And so here it goes, Peace around me. Randoms observations of things people are doing or should do to wage peace in their lives.

#74: basic civility. Come on people, would you tailgate, flip the bird, & blow your horn if your mother were in the car with you? Well, apparently yes. One time, a girl pulled out of a church parking lot onto the road in front of me, nearly hitting me. She was so full of the holy spirit, she flipped me off with both hands. Her mother was right next to her. Her mother did not flip me off.

Why do we think that we are exempt from civilized or moral behavior when we are surrounded by a ton of recycled steel and glass? Cars are not the manners-free zone.

#73: Feed people. It's really hard to feel peaceful when you are hungry. And it's really really easy to feed people. If you don't want to go down to the soup kitchen and dish up spaghetti or sandwiches, just grab a few extra cans of food at the grocery store. Put it in one of the MANY boxes in which organizations collect food.

My church, St. Michael & All Angels Episcopal Church (shout out!), takes part in the Second Harvest program. People from the church pick up food from the Olive Garden and take it to the Oliver Gospel Mission. It's a partnership between the restaurant association and various non-profits. I remember when they first started talking about this idea in Columbia (and elsewhere). At first the health department refused to allow it and made the restaurants throw out the food that had been prepared but not served. Does that suck or what?

#72: Recycle, reuse, re... something else. If we didn't need so much stuff we wouldn't need to fight over so much stuff. I know that's simplistic. Sue me.

#71: Teach the children. If you can't volunteer in a school, and it's not that easy to do, at least buy some wrapping paper or something. I have some World's Finest Chocolates available.

I could go on and on about teaching children. Our education system is still using the factory model. Train children to go to school/work on time, sit & do whatever you are told, eat & pee & talk when you are told... What do you expect? And then the pundits get all upset about test scores and test the kids some more. And they look and say: "China has better test scores! They are beating us! Let's become a dictatorship and see if our test scores improve!"

Support authentic learning, in whatever form it takes for each and every child.

#70: Random acts of kindness. I have a friend who hands out candy canes around Christmas time. She just gives them to people. Not everyone, like someone throwing dollar bills into a crowd. She will see someone and for whatever reason, give him a candy cane.

We can all give proverbial candy canes, can't we?

#69: Smile. OK, stop now. That's not a smile. That's a grimace and it's scaring the goldfish.

Relax, think about something good, and smile. Now keep that expression on your face as you walk through your day. Smile at the mailman, smile at the lady at the DMV, smile at your boss. Usually, they will smile back. If nothing else, it will confuse the hell out of them, and that's worth a giggle, no?

#68: Rinse, repeat. I think I'm repeating myself. I really sound familiar. Oh well. That's what we have to do. Smile, repeat. Teach, repeat. Feed, repeat.

Peace. Repeat.

Peace within me: Blogbast4peace 75 - 84

2011-09-15T04:30:00.000-07:00

As Gandhi is very very often quoted as saying, "be the change you want to see in the world."

In order to have peace in the world, we need peace within ourselves. Some days, like those in the past month, that is very hard for me. It is hard to be a calming, loving, merciful being when I see injustice, arrogance (other than my own), and plain old fashioned stupidity. I find myself thinking, "If I'da killed him when I met him, I'd be out by now." And this really isn't productive.

Today, I am going to write ten reasons I blog for peace that have to do with strengthening myself. "Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me."

84:
I blog for peace so that I can strengthen my tolerance of differences, because peace cannot exist without tolerance and mercy. An efficient dictatorship may look peaceful --- low crime, trains running on time --- but that isn't peace. I'm not saying that I tolerate everything, but I would like to recognize and avoid the canonization of my culture. Cultural norms are not necessarily holy.

83:
I blog for peace so that I can find the sameness in humanity. We have sought the safety of our tribes since time began. We need "us" and "them" to help us define ourselves. That's way film makers have the Earth attacked by aliens in order to unite the Earth. But there is always a "them." A "not us." I want to define myself without seeking a "not me."

82:
I blog for peace so that I can find the courage to stand up in the face of wrong, even if it's uncomfortable. I'm not likely to be in a life-threatening situation, but I'd like to be brave enough stand up even in the face of death.

81:
I blog for peace so that I can develop the wisdom to know when to stand and when to be still.

80:
I blog for peace because I know that peace is strength, violence is weakness. Remember the song, "Coward of the county?" OK, he ends up seeking revenge and killing the guy, but his father's words are the important part. It takes a Man to ignore taunting in order to do the right thing. Or a Woman. Not a saint. I could go on all day about how the Romans militarized Christianity, but I won't. You're welcome.

79:
I blog for peace to help me be peaceful. I want to be the person who calms the waters, not the one who stirs up drama. This is a very personal thing, but a key to the peace within me. I am attracted (or attract) people who live life as one crisis after another, and everyone demands my immediate attention. Calm down people! The world is not ending. And if it is, I'm sure as hell not spending any more time on this stuff.

78:
I blog for peace because:
"Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman." Marian Anderson.
I blog for peace because I am angry and frustrated and fearful. And those things don't help my blood pressure, my family, or the world in which we live

77:
I blog for peace because I can only be the best person I can be right now.

76:
I blog for peace because I am a better person than I was before.

75:
I blog for peace because I want to be a better person tomorrow.

We Remember

2011-09-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

Reason 85: I blog for peace because it's my way of making a joyful noise

2011-08-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

I blog for peace because it's my way of making a joyful noise.

Randall, somewhere in here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/peacebloggers/ mentioned music, which was cool, because I've been trying to find a way to hook the blog for peace to music.

I love music. It is probably not true that I married my husband because of his incredible music, but it sure didn't hurt. I love to hear my children sing, even if their idea of beautiful music is rap or metal and mine... isn't.

On the other hand, I don't make music. Until recently--- when Mark and I joined the hand bell choir at St Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church. Now, Laura, the infinitely patient and talented music director, said that we would be fine. We would have fun. We would sound wonderful.

And we are having fun. And Mark sounds wonderful. And I sound... well, not horrible. And I'm getting better.

I haven't tried to perform music since Mrs. Bailey kicked me out of the 6th grade choir. That was after I got kicked out of the 6th grade band.

I REALLY wanted to play the flute, and Mr. Sistrunk, bless his heart, tried to teach me. But it seems that being able to make the flute make a sound is an essential part of playing the flute. Not being able to make a sound with the flute was bad, but not as bad as the various frightening sounds I made when I attempted the clarinet and the saxophone. And so I went back to home ec, where I didn't hurt anyone.

And what does this have to do with peace? Well, I don't know. Oh wait, how about: we all have a part to play, no matter how small or how large. And we all can find a way to make a joyful noise, sing out for peace, ring out for justice, hammer for love between our brothers and our sisters, all over this land.

Amen.

Reason 86 to blog for peace: Education not War

2011-08-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

My son has spent his first week in a conventional middle school. It is a new experience for him, since he spent 6th grade at Carolina School for Inquiry, a K thru 6th grade child-centered, multi-age, inquiry based public school & last year at a virtual school. Now he is caring a 20 lb book bag, changing classes, eating school lunch, spending time with people he didn't know before Monday. For an introvert and a thirteen year old, this is hard. But he's a trooper, and I'm cautiously optimistic.

What does this have to do with peace? Well, middle school isn't really a peaceful place, is it? The theory is great. Take kids whose hormones are exploding like popped pimples, whose intellectual development is leapfrogging over the factory-model teaching formula of traditional public schools, and whose social awareness is limited to their hair and their latest crushes; throw them together with a bunch of other kids like them and feed them junk food.

Oh, no, wait, that's not Best Practices...

Middle school has a great deal of potential. Kids ARE developing quickly, but they are still kids and haven't lost their enthusiasm and joy (unless it was already beaten out of them in third grade.) There are lessons in social responsibility, personal responsibility, and personal development. There are lessons in meta-cognition --- how do I learn best? what do I want to learn? how can I organize myself to be the best I can be?

But we don't want to "throw money at the problem" of inadequate education. We want to continue to do the same thing over and over again, to see if the same things get different results. (Which is the definition of insanity.) Then we test and test and test. As someone once said, that's like "treating" an illness by taking the patient's temperature over and over again without any change in treatment. (Which is the definition of malpractice.)

But we are willing to throw money and people at war machines. I mean, look at Afghanistan. Again, we are doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. (See definitions above.)

So, let's quit throwing money and good people at war machines & toss some money and good people toward authentic education of EVERYONE.

Just a thought....

Reason 87 to blog4peace: stop the name calling!

2011-08-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

Let me start with a disclaimer, or a confession, or whatever this is: I am a Democrat. I live in South Carolina and I'm old enough to remember when there was (for all practical purposes) ONLY a Democratic Party in SC. I am a "yellow dog" Democrat, which means, I'd vote for a yellow dog if he ran as a Democrat. My mother told me that if I voted for a Republican, hair would grow on my palms. I have since found that that isn't necessarily true, but I've had very few temptations to test the threat. One time someone said to Mom, "I'd bet you'd vote for Satan if he ran as a Democrat." She thought a minute and said, "Well, yeah, but not in the primary." This is where I come from.

Now, let me say that I am very tired of name calling and bad rhetoric on ALL sides of what passes for political debate. Governor Perry calls a respected economist and member of the Obama administration a "traitor" and laughs when people get upset. But what does that mean, dude? Don't you know that treason is a federal crime punishable by death? You are accusing a man of a federal crime simply because you disagree with him.

And "Nazi." Can we quit calling each other Nazis? Do we have no idea what that word means? Do we have no idea of the eerily efficient bureaucracy of death associated with that party? We trivialize horror when we speak of "food Nazis" (who are really offensive, but not eerily efficient bureaucrats of death.) Someone disagrees with us and we compare them to mass murderers.

The same thing applies to all of the words: communist, fascist, traitor, insane, criminally stupid. Perfectly fine words that are trivialized while the rhetoric of CIVIL POLITICAL DEBATE is twisted into ever escalating words of hatred and separation.

Pull back people. I'm not saying don't disagree. I'm not saying don't articulate your points of disagreement. I'm saying... I'm PLEADING: Don't use angry emotion-laden key words as symbols for what pass as ideas. ARTICULATE. I know you can. Please.

And Thank you.

Reason 88 to Blog for Peace: Stubborn acceptance of gladness

2011-08-10T03:48:00.000-07:00

I am behind again, which is not a problem for me. The problem has been the intrusion of life on my meditations on peace. The intrusions of the wars, the riots, the famines; but also the intrusions of changes at work, my son starting a new school, and a high school reunion. The World has been overwhelming me for the past week or so.

Then my O magazine came in the mail, and I finally sat down and turned to Martha Beck, my favorite columnist, and guess what she is writing about this month? Stubborn acceptance of gladness. She writes about how our storms of negativity coming from our fear incite storms of negativity in others. When we are scared, we are scary.

While reading this, I realized that I have been both a victim and a source of these storms of negativity. I am feeling overwhelmed and helpless in so many areas. And thinking about World Peace in these times can bring impotent rage.

But that's not the point of this exercise. The point is Peace --- internal & external. Peace with justice, peace with quiet, peace with joyful noises.

And so, for now and for the next few "days" (or however long it takes me to catch up and keep going), I will blog about peace to glorify the oasises of peace, love, kindness, and hope in this world.

As Pablo Neruda wrote (and I'm borrowing from Martha Beck's column):

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.
...it opens for me all
the doors of life.

Peace be with you.

Reason 89: Never again

2011-08-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

Reason 90 that I blog for peace: I hope therefor I am

2011-08-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

Reason 91: Because if we say it enough we might start acting it

2011-08-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

When I was a child attending St. Peter's Catholic Church, my favorite part of the Mass was The Peace. It made me really really happy to stand up and turn to people I knew or didn't know, shake their hands, and say "Peace be with you," or to respond "and also with you." I visited friends' churches but none of them included The Peace. "What was that about?" I'd wonder, feeling incomplete.

I now attend St. Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church and my favorite part of the service is The Peace. Now we say "God's Peace," or simply "Peace." If my husband is with the choir, we wave peace signs at each other. Every Sunday, all of us stop and say Peace.

A long time ago I read a letter in which the writer said, "we say 'Peace be with you' in the Mass, then run over each other in the parking lot trying to get home. What's the point?"

Hmmm... good question. I think the point is that if we keep saying it, we will begin to be it. Eventually we'll stop running over each other in the parking lot. Maybe.

So, once more, with feeling:

PEACE BE WITH YOU!

And also with you.

Reason #92 to blog for peace:

2011-08-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

"The principle of an eye for an eye will some day make the whole world blind."

Ghandi

Reasons 97 - 93 to blog for peace

2011-08-02T04:29:00.000-07:00

#97: There is so much going on in our lives, sometimes we forget to pray for peace. Maybe this will help.

#96: What is peace? My peace, your peace? A piece of your country, a piece of his? What do we mean by this? Why do people keep saying it's impossible. Let's talk about it.

#95: Talking about things is a step on the road to fixing things. (This is NOT the same as #96.)

#94: I choose butter. (Remember? "Guns or Butter.")

#93: Peace is a learned not inherited.

I celebrated my 51st birthday on Saturday. I celebrated with friends on Friday and spent Saturday reading and sleeping, which is my idea of a peaceful, perfect day. It was made more perfect by the presence of two of my grandchildren, Gabe (almost 4) and Brendon (almost 3). Brendon decided to cover me with French chocolate while I napped, which is a little frightening, but interesting. Gabe and Brendon both had me and others read them books. And Gabe talked a whole lot.

Gabe is a very intense and logical little man. He wants to understand things and people. He needs to see why things are as they are. He is a very empathetic child.

I don't know why it would surprise me. My three sons are all empathetic and caring and have been since they were very young. Gabe reminds me a lot of his father. The intensity and ease with which Gabe and Robert embrace empathy has to do with their souls, their personalities, their THEM.

However, it was my husband and me, along with other friends and family members (my mother in particular), who nurtured and valued those traits. For children who are not as naturally empathetic, empathy can be taught and nurtured as well.

Empathy, I believe, is the beginning of peace. And no, it isn't necessarily natural.

Yes, there have been wars and oppression always and everywhere, from battle grounds to board rooms to school yards. And yes, it is hard to overcome human nature, which often needs groups of "us" and "them" in order to feel safe and secure. Our separation from god, our excessive knowledge of the differences among us, and our sparse knowledge of the sameness; all this makes it hard to be at peace.

And so, we must learn peace. We must teach peace. We must act in ways that are not "natural." And no one said it would be easy.

98th reason that I blog for peace: Because I can

2011-07-29T04:11:00.000-07:00

Only two or three days in and I miss a day. Oh well. I'm not going to sweat it. Because blogging for peace, like searching for peace is a journey. It's not really how well you do it, it's that you do it.

Like many people, I feel overwhelmed when I look at the world, whether in my neighborhood or in my universe or in my soul. How in the world can we have peace? What can I do?

Right now, I can't remove landmines from playgrounds. I can't feed more than a few of the starving children in the world. I can't teach more than a couple of people that strength comes from diversity. Right now, I can't sink into a meditative state to find my own peace. I can't usually withhold judgement when the issue is personality or taste and not TRUTH. I can't always hold my tongue when faced with irritating people.
Right now, all I know is that I am trying. I am on my journey through peace.

And what I can do is blog. I BLOG FOR PEACE BECAUSE I CAN.

99th reason to blog for peace: War is not normal

2011-07-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure, but I think I was late getting started, so I'm going to go ahead and give my 99th reason to blog for peace.

This morning while glancing at the Morning Joe between dressing, eating, blogging, and brushing my teeth; I heard Marvin Kalb say that President Obama has no reason to be internally affected by the Vietnam conflict since he was 13 when it ended. Kalb had taken part in a symposium Haunting Legacy: Vietnam and the American Presidency from Ford to Obama and had a lot more to say, but I want to talk about that one statement.

I was about 14 when the Vietnam conflict "ended." My friends were not drafted and did not serve. I was 'too young' to care, right?

But I did. It was an integral part of my life from my earliest memories until the end of the war. If my friends didn't serve, the boyfriends of my babysitters did. I heard songs against the conflict and songs in favor of it. Everyone thought about it, more than we do now.

When I was in kindergarten, we sang, "God Bless America" and my teacher said, "Let's sing loud enough so that our boys in Vietnam will hear us and know what they are fighting for." I sang really loud, and I think I truly believed they could hear me. And that I was what they were fighting for.

My uncle served in the Navy in Vietnam. I don't remember being afraid for him. I remember that he wrote really great letters to me. He also wrote letters to my aunt, his fiance. I didn't understand why she read my letters but I couldn't read hers. I never said I was a bright kid.

Every night at around supper time, we'd watch the news. There was only one television (which did not appear to have an 'off' button) and there were three or four channels. And on every one (except PBS which showed the June Bug show) there was the nightly news. Walter Concrite (as I called him --- see note about brightness above) or Hunkley-Brinkley (ditto on the note) told us the same thing every night. Over film of soldiers & sailors & airmen fighting & marching & flying, they would announce the death toll. This many Americans died today. This many Vietnamese. Day in and day out.

In 1968, I was eight years old, watching television with my father. There was "Breaking News." Back then, breaking news meant something important had happened and not that, for instance, Michael Jackson is still dead. WC or H-B or whoever announced that the Soviet Union had invaded Czechoslovakia. My dad dropped his teeth (really, he did that).

I looked at him and said, "what's wrong?"

He said, "the last time anyone invaded Czechoslovakia, we had WWII".

I said, "so what?"

"SO WHAT?" he said, picking up his teeth and dropping them again.

"There is always a war", I said. "And I'm missing the Monkees."

Over the years there have been years without war or conflicts or whatever, but it still seems strange to me to NOT have a war. I think we care less because we don't know who is fighting so much now. Without a draft, fewer people are directly involved. Fewer people know someone over seas. Fewer people have a personal stake.

And so my 99th reason for blogging for peace is that war should not be the new (or old) normal. Peace should not be an oddity that happens once in a blue moon.

100 days 100 reasons Blogblast for Peace

2011-07-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

There are 100 days until November 4, the day of the peace blog. Mimi has challenged us to post one hundred reasons to blog for peace, one each day.

I am going to try... you can see how well I keep up with regular posting. I will sometimes post it alone and sometimes in conjunction with a different blog entry. We will see. One hundred reasons... one hundred days.

Today, I blog for peace because of:

I blog for peace for my children, my grandchildren, my nieces, my friend's children, and for the children of acquaintances, strangers, and enemies. May they know peace. May they embrace peace. May they understand its value.

Not a response to cowardly anonymous letters...

2011-05-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

I, along with several others, have received an anonymous letter from "concerned parents" consisting of various and sundry accusations and unpleasantries lobbed toward Carolina School for Inquiry and its director. The writers claim they are anonymous because of fear of retaliation and not out of cowardice. They also claim to represent the majority of parents, all of whom are terrified of the demonic power of the director. Unlike whistle blowers who present factual information ("proof") of wrong doing to authorities in an attempt to right a wrong, these people offer nothing but bombastic rhetorical questions and sweeping generalizations. All we know about them is that they are NOT English majors.

Some of the accusations allege mishandling of personnel issues or student discipline issues. As anyone who works in HR should be able to explain to them, IF there were personnel issues (and I'm not saying there were) it would be illegal for the director or the board to discuss them. And there are very strict laws protecting the privacy of students. While one would hope that integrity would prevent people from spreading rumors that can't be legally addressed, we live in a free country and reap both the benefits and disadvantages of that freedom.

The few verifiable accusations not related to privacy issues are easily refuted. For instance, they contend that when Governor Nikki Haley visited the school, the students were poorly behaved. All we have to do is look at the videotape to see that the children were polite and exuberant; a wonderful combination I credit to the environment of respect and inquiry. As always, I was proud of the students, the faculty, and the staff. It saddens me that someone would try to steal such a momentous achievement from these students, simply to stoke their own anger.

And this leads me to what I really want to say about Carolina School for Inquiry, its fabulous director, and its magnificent teachers. Carolina School for Inquiry started as a dream that students could learn in an atmosphere of respect, where their ideas were valued, their input expected, their voices heard. Some people said that public school children needed worksheets and uniforms to achieve higher test scores (which, of course, have nothing to do with learning.) We said ALL children are inquirers. All children should be helped to find their inner writers, inner scientists, inner athletes, inner leaders. ALL CHILDREN.

In the past five years, we have shown that to be true. Our test scores are higher than the scores of the naysayers. Our children love school. They are not bullies, they don't bully; they have learned to deal with each other. They don't have to be watched 24/7 to insure they don't step out of line, because the line comes from inside. They know how to act.

Not everyone loves this as much as we do. And that is OK. CSI is a school of choice, and if it's not your choice, make another.

In the past five years, we have not been the choice of fine families who believed that their children needed more or less structure than we offered. Some wanted uniforms and more homework; others wanted homeschooling. They believed their children would learn better elsewhere.

We have not been the fit of some fine teachers. Some left to become excellent teachers of inquiry elsewhere. Others realized that they were more comfortable with conventional teaching methods than with the rigorous personal and professional demands on teachers of inquiry. Some decided that teaching wasn't their calling. Choices.

Carolina School for Inquiry has been a wonderful choice for my son. At risk of staying safe in the mind-numbing boredom of a conventional school, he was shaken out of his comfort zone academically, physically, and socially by some of the finest teachers I have ever met. No matter where he goes, no matter who he becomes, he will always be a learner, a scientist, a writer, and a great citizen. Thank you Mrs. Dixon-Mokeba. Thank you Mrs. Greene. Thank you Mrs. K, Mr. Chris, Mrs. Johnson, Mr. Hodges, and Ms. Spradley. Thank you to all of the art, Spanish, music, and PE teachers. Thank you to everyone who has helped my child become the great young man he is.

My prayer is that ALL CHILDREN, no matter what their learning styles, their gifts and talents, their personalities, their background; will be given a Choice for an education style that fits their needs. EVERY CHOICE SHOULD BE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE.

Dona Nobis Pacem

2010-11-04T03:42:00.000-07:00

Let there be peace on earth...
And let it begin with me.

When I have tried to think about what to write in a peace blog, I've been bombarded with images and memories, bits of songs, snippets of conversations, flashes of photographs.

And what I end up thinking is something I read on a bumper sticker put out by the Marynoll Nuns about 30 years ago.

If you want peace, work for justice.

If you want peace, teach the children.
If you want peace, feed the hungry.
If you want peace, hold the frightened.
If you want peace, be peaceful.

Let there be peace on Earth
And let it begin with me

A Note on Comments

2010-09-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

I love comments. I've never had any bad comments on my posts (at least not in writing or to my face), but I wouldn't hate that either. Well, I would, but only on a personal level and only because I want everyone to love me.

Anyone can comment. You can comment annonymously or you can sign in on a Google account. I prefer civilized communication, and wouldn't leave a post that contained ugly comments about someone else, but I'm pretty flexible.

If I decided to delete a comment, I'd explain why. And that's what I'm doing now.

Some people have noticed that on a couple of posts there is a note "comment deleted." I deleted these because they were spam. Although most of them are simply selling stuff (and have the pictures to prove it), some have dangerous links. I hate to even check them out. One time someone put a comment in French that linked to a viagra ad. A couple of links are in a language I can't get translated, and I delete them on the assumption that they are selling porn or sending secret messages to Osama bin Laden. That's the way I am.

Please comment. Please use a language I can understand or can have translated. I speak three languages: English, sarcasm, and profanity, but I don't use profanity here. (I stole that line from someone of Facebook.) I can have French, German, Spanish, Italian, possibly Japanese and Chinese, and maybe Greek and Russian translated. This is not to say I encourage that, because although I've had visitors from around the globe, this is an English-speaking blog and the whole point is to communicate, right?

And to sum up: go ahead and comment. No SPAM.

And thank you for being here. Y'all come back, y'here?

Carolina School for Inquiry: A Vision of Sustainability

2010-09-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

I am running for the Board of Directors of Carolina School for Inquiry again. I know, nutters. But this is why I am running, and why I think I can make a difference.

Carolina School for Inquiry is in its 5th year. We have made AYP for two years in a row, with test scores that exceed many of the district's best schools. We have done this without teaching to the test, without segregating the blue birds from the red birds from the crows, without breaking the spirits of the children.

We have done this with child-centered, inquiry-based, multi-aged education. Innovation that has been proven to work for all children and not just for children of privilege.

Now it is time for the board of directors to work hand-in-glove with the director to make sure that this success is sustainable, long after we are gone.

In the development of a charter school, as with a young nation, there is a need for different kinds of leaders at different times. Some can transition, but others will move on to new projects that better suit their style and emotional needs.

The early leaders of CSI were visionaries and charismatic leaders who were able to convince people to take a chance with their most precious resources, their children, and to pin their hopes on a new way of teaching and learning... a new way of thinking. Like the leaders of the American Revolution, such as Samuel Adams, Patrick Henry, & Benjamin Franklin, they were flashy, fast and opinionated. The charisma was palatable and people were drawn like moths to a flame. And that was good.

After CSI was established, the mission remained the same, but the job at hand shifted from recruitment and rhetoric to "making it happen." Carolina School for Inquiry was fortunate to have a director who had the diverse skill set necessary to make the "fine fine ideas" a "fine fine school."

I'm constantly amazed at the things Victoria Dixon-Mokeba has done. The job hasn't been easy and it hasn't been glamorous. There will be no parades or national holidays in her honor. She has charisma, although it's not the kind that sucks the oxygen out of any room she enters. It's not a "look at me" charisma, but the charisma that you feel when you talk to someone who is really interested in you, your child, and your ideas. She has developed her natural empathy, organizational skills, determination and dignity into a skill set that pretty much defines "great charter school leader." I think that one of the most important skills is her humility, her ability to set aside her ego in order to listen to others and to learn new things. She is determined and hard working and has inspired (and sometimes cajoled) those around her to work as hard and to take the responsibility that comes with freedom and flexibility. Although I think there must be other people who could have lead Carolina School for Inquiry through the tumultuous first five years, I am not sure anyone could have brought us to this point of success. Most of the board members over the past five years have supported Ms. Dixon-Mokeba as she lead the school through the development phase.

And now we are here, what next?

The Carolina School for Inquiry Board of Directors needs to move CSI from "fine idea" to "fine fine school" to "fantastic model of a fine fine school."

After a brief return to the cult of personality, it is time for the board to re-establish policies and procedures that serve as clear guidelines for the administrator, faculty, staff, parents and children, so that the director can operate without fear that the board will "get her" to satisfy a private grudge or to meet a private need.
The Board of Directors needs to establish a 10-year plan, which should include the funding and purchase of a school building so that CSI is no longer used as a pawn in the drama and personnel issues of other agencies.
A long-term sustainable fund-raising plan needs to be developed, and I'm not talking about wrapping paper and donuts.
We need to support and encourage the development of cutting-edge movements in education in order to serve the students and their families better and better. I'm particularly excited about the plan being implemented by the special education teachers to help kids before they become paralyzed by their labels. (I think this is going on, unless the past board shut it down.) The board needs to encourage innovation, through its support of the director's initiatives.
CSI needs to serve as a resource to other schools and educators who want to develop child-centered, inquiry-based, multi-aged schools. We need to allow the director to re-establish relationships with colleges and universities in the area. We need to work with groups hoping to form middle or high schools on the inquiry model and with people who want to replicate the K-6 model of CSI.

Now, why me? Because I am willing to do it. I don't expect a plaque or even an opportunity to give a speech. I have learned a whole lot in the past 6 years, and I want to use that knowledge to help CSI move into its next phase.

There is a vision that I share with Victoria Dixon-Mokeba and with many other former board members and members of the CSI community: A Vision of Sustainability. And that will be our reward.

Sure you can, but SHOULD you?

2010-09-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

Many many years ago, I sat at a table in a college bar with a young man who informed me that he could put his fist in his mouth.

Many people would have said, "this I gotta see!" but I said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

He said, "You don't think I can do it, do you?"

I said, "If I thought you couldn't do it, I'd let you try."

The point of this story... the relevant point of this story... is that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. And by "can" I mean physically or "have the right to" do something. Because that's what I want to talk about.

We are often faced with the question, "I know I can, but should I?" It usually involved eating a chocolate cake, telling a racist joke or letting your sister-in-law know what you really think of her. And that is important. But sometimes it involves bigger issues.

There are two situations now where I would defend to the death people's right to do something, one with more enthusiasm than the other. But I wonder, should they do it?

Case one is cut and dried to me: the idiot Pastor in Florida who wants to burn the Koran on September 11. Sure he has the right to do it, as long as he bought the books and he has a burning permit.

But should he? Isn't it always icky to burn books? Even if you weren't forced to read Fahrenheit 451 in high school (and if any book should be burned...), doesn't the notion of burning books and thereby symbolically burning ideas make you feel dirty? Don't you wish the Pastor would just stick his fist in his mouth?

But no, he wants to burn books to defend his perverted notion of Christianity.

I can't accuse the Pastor of being a hypocrite, since I recognize that in his world view, it's OK to burn other ideas while insisting that your ideas be spread by any means. I am tired of these people who call themselves Christians insisting that they are being persecuted because people disagree with them. What do they know of persecution? You don't hear about St. Cyndi who complained to the principal when the other girls laughed at her for praying during lunch.

But there is persecution, and it is possible that his selfish actions will cause Americans (military and civilian) to be killed or tortured in Iraq or Afghanistan. It is one thing to be willing to join Daniel in the lion's den. It is another to sit in sunny Florida and send others into the lion's den.

The other event is very different, in my mind. But in thinking about the moron Pastor, I've rethought this, too.

A group of good-hearted people want to build a Mosque near Ground Zero. It is their hope that the center will serve to open relations among people of different faiths and to help educate Americans about Islam. I believe them, and I think that it is a great cause.

Whether I believed them or not, I'd defend their right to build. Since I believe them, I have thought that they should build. But now I'm not sure.

It's not because I think they should back off from the angry, bigoted crowd. I don't think we should be "sensitive" to bigotry. If I offend someone by being a Muslim or a lesbian or an Episcopalian, I am not going to change so as not to offend them, or even to make myself more comfortable in their presence. (See "martyrdom" above.) If that were the only issue I'd say, build it bigger and better. Who cares?

I think they should reconsider building the Mosque at ground zero because their purpose is to open hearts and minds and to educate, but that isn't going to happen because the issue has shifted to the building and the place and not the mission. I think that the anger and vitriol shows that there is a great need for education and bridge-building. I'm just not sure this is how to start.

The pastor is clearly wrong. The Mosque may defeat its own purpose. I'm going to eat the whole chocolate cake and not tell my sister-in-law what I think of her. I will not tell racist jokes. Civilization is saved.

Carolina School for Inquiry Makes AYP Again

2010-08-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

Carolina School for Inquiry made AYP for the second year in a row. This is a strong testament to the great lead teacher/director and the wonderful teachers who remain committed to child-centered, multi-age, inquiry-based education. This is a testament to the parents and families who support the school and their children. It is a testament to the community partners who still support the idea of excellent education in SC. It is a testament to the children who love to learn when allowed to shine as they do at CSI.

The CSI Board of Directors (with a notable exception) seem to have missed the memo. In the past year, they have spent their efforts trying to undermine the charter, and when that failed, trying to undermine the school, telling people that multi-age inquiry didn't work. Mind you, some of these people have children who have been very successful at this school.

Last Tuesday at a board meeting held the day after school started, they dug in their heels to avoid approving contracts for three new teachers. Two teachers resigned at the last minute in a fashion which could have left the school in a lurch if there weren't so many bright professional educators who want to be a part of multi-aged education. However, by refusing to approve the terms of the contract in a timely manner (they can have emergency meetings for every thing else, but not this), they have disrupted the beginning of school. This is not to say that the board didn't do anything Tuesday night. They approved the purchase of report card covers and a wand to put letters on the announcement board. Hip-hip-freakin-hooray.

The board did approve the contracts of the teachers, albeit in a childish and cowardly way. They sat there in front of parents and visitors pouting while two board members made the motion, seconded, and voted to approve. They stared at the ceiling and refused to vote yes or no. (The always heroic "present" vote.) It was suggested by some parents there that maybe they planned to try to go back on the approval of the teachers when they weren't in the public eye... but I don't see how that would work. If they were so craven as to try that, I'd have say a few extra rosaries. It must really hurt to be so recalcitrant and self-centered. What kind of person who claims to care for excellent education for all students would deprive children of stability in the opening days of school?

Perhaps they've seen the writing on the wall. The writing that said "Carolina School for Inquiry makes AYP." The writing from children that shows their enthusiasm for learning that goes beyond the test. The writing that says that Carolina School for Inquiry is a great public charter school and if they don't like it, they should take their magic wand and go home. Or at least to some other more traditional school.

The kicked pig squeals

2010-06-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended the postponed regularly scheduled meeting of the Carolina School for Inquiry Board of Directors. This was a rare privilege because most of the CSI board meeting this year have been specially called, last minute, executive session only, and/or by teleconference. To be able to actually see the board in action is rare. Ironically, this is a board that speaks often of transparency and honesty, as if they have it and the boards before didn't.

Last night was not earth-shattering. The board discussed report card covers they have ordered the Director/ Lead Teacher to buy next year. They talked about the price of the wand-thing to put letters on the sign the Friends of CSI bought the school. Too bad they didn't buy the wand too. They mentioned the new lease with Richland County Recreation Commission, although they didn't seem to want to discuss the fact that although the previous board had negotiated a lease before this board took office, this group signed a different lease that costs the school at least $15,000 more a year and that the current RCRC interim director has ended the mutually beneficial partnership the two organizations have had for five years and basically declared war on the director. Vision has been replaced with vitriol. But that's not really what I wanted to talk about, except maybe to point out to the teachers that that is where their raises are. Oh well.

At the end of the meeting, a board member spoke in what (if they used Robert's Rules) would probably be called a "Point of Personal Privilege." She called on the audience to remember the mission of CSI, an atmosphere of kindness and respect among other things. She then went on about e-mails she has received that attack her character and engage in what she called gossip.

First, I know she wasn't talking to me, because I haven't sent her any e-mail. I did send the board chair an e-mail in which I expressed my concern about the board holding meetings on the phone, calling meetings and the last minute, and cancelling meetings. I believe I also suggested that they were acting like a PTA rather than a board of a public charter school. I don't think I called anyone names.

That is because, I don't call people names or concern myself with someone's character unless I care about them, either in a good or bad way. This woman is not one of the two board members who have harassed my son, so she is not on my radar. Not as an individual.

The reason I am addressing this is because I think it is symptomatic of a general cry-babiness and hypocrisy in our world. What we used to call "dishing it out, but not being able to take it." We hear it on this board, we hear it in the whining of politicians who don't like advertisements pointing out their past documented criminal or voting records. I'm just tired of it.

Let's see if we can clarify. This is not a personal attack.

A personal attack is when a mob of "kind, respectful" people disrupt the operation of a meeting, calling the board members liars and screaming that the director is a witch and should be sent to Hell where she belongs.

A personal attack is when "kind, respectful" people tell others that a person is "cheating" on her husband, knowing it isn't true.

A personal attack is when these "kind, respectful" individuals use innuendo and sly backroom techniques to give the impression that people are operating in an illegal way, even when they know it isn't true.

A personal attack is when "kind, respectful" people tell colleagues and associates of a person that that person is unethical, knowing it isn't true.

A personal attack is when "kind, respectful" people refuse to engage in a civil conversation but prefer gossip and midnight phone calls.

I will not engage in personal attacks. I will continue to express concern about poor judgement, willful ignorance, and a culture of secrecy that I believe is damaging a school that I hold dear. To me, it has always been about the children... ALL CHILDREN.

And to those who may feel personally attacked, I'll quote the great Henry Young: "The kicked pig squeals."

Innovation, marquees, budget cuts & gnat's knees

2010-04-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, I attended the Carolina School for Inquiry Board of Directors meeting. It had been a while since I'd been to a regular meeting... I guess the last one was when I was still chair.

I was pleased to see the large attendance. When I was on the board we couldn't pay people to attend until we had the unfortunate incident. The people attending Tuesday were civil, unlike some of the folk in the mobs that attended the last couple of meetings in September.

I was excited to hear a presentation from the special ed department. They are taking the lead on innovative ways to help special needs kids. The federal regulations will be demanding more proactive intervention and the two special ed teachers, with the encouragement and blessing of the CSI lead teacher/director Victoria Dixon-Mokeba, have developed what looks like a wonderful plan. They asked the teachers what would help them and the kids, studied the data, checked on the kids' needs. They are planning to work with small groups of kids before they are labeled so that they can prevent problems from developing and take away some of the stigma associated with "special ed" labels.

That's one of the strengths of a multi-age setting. Kids can develop at different rates, get the extra help or extra push to go further without either being labeled a failure or being socially promoted without ever helping them develop the skills they need. I'm proud of CSI for being innovative in this area as well as in other areas of curriculum. This is what a charter school should be able to do.

The budget report is always interesting, but I was disappointed to see that the board members seemed to find it boring. The CSI accountant couldn't do a better job of explaining the current and future budget needs and issues. I know that he and other charter school experts have given this novice board remedial lessons in governance & finance as related to a charter school board, and so it concerns me that some of the ladies don't seem to want to listen.

I was even more surprised to see what did interest them. During the public comments, a grandparent spoke with great passion about the marquee in front of the school. Why was it empty? Why did other schools have things on their marquee but we don't?

I was a little taken aback. That's it? I thought. That's the biggest issue? That's how you plan to fire the finest director/lead teacher in SC?

Victoria explained during her report that the marquee was empty because OSHA had determined that the ground was too uneven to use a ladder and our landlord's hadn't regraded the ground or purchased a telescoping wand. That is when a couple of board members perked up.

"So we need to buy a wand? How much does it cost?"

Sweet Millard Filmore on a bicycle. This is the board of directors of a public charter school, not the PTA. Did you miss it when Bill said we may not have enough money to pay full teachers salaries? You want to buy a wand so we can have announcements on the sign in front of the school?

This reminded me of several stories Brian Carpenter tells about disfunctional boards. It also reminded me of a personal story. Early in my tenure as board chair, when I was still struggling to maintain order and harmony at the same time, someone in public comments asked why we didn't have a school bus of our own, instead of renting one when we needed it for trips. In the meeting, a board member asked about the bus, and I said that the facilities committee should study the issue and report back. This is when I lost control. They started talking about busses and how they'd looked at them before. I kept saying, yep, that's what the committee needs to look in to. In the committee. Not now... I am ashamed to say that we discussed what color to paint the hypothetical school bus for two or three minutes (a long time in a meeting) before I managed to get it back on task. And the committee never did recommend buying a bus...it's cheaper to rent.

And so we see the state of affairs. Carolina School for Inquiry is a fine public charter school. The test scores are great, the students are happy to be learning, the director and most of the teachers know that we as parents and taxpayers and citizens appreciate the fact that they work ten times harder than average to help children learn. There is no try, only do. But then the board, elected in an avalanche of personal vindictiveness and anger, acts as if they are in the middle school glee club. (I am flashing back to middle school, because I heard that a board member was chastised for speaking to me. I can't really bring myself to care, but it does make me want to buy some clearisil.)

I really hope the board takes its lessons to heart and starts acting like a board and not a social club before the sign outside of the school says "Closed."

Crab Boils and Mean Girls

2010-03-19T04:45:00.000-07:00

Have you every been to a crab boil? You know that the crabs have to be fresh, as in.... Alive. So the crabs are kept in a big basket until the water boils.

This is not a story about cooking and eating live animals. It is about the nature of crabs.

In the basket, the crabs scramble around trying to get out. Often, one will climb until it gets almost to the top, and then....

The other crabs pull it back in.

Many years ago, as I eavesdropped on a conversation between my mother and Senator Kay Patterson, I heard this story. Senator Patterson said that black folk were like the crabs. If one got too high, other black folk would pull him back. White people could just sit and watch.

Mom suggested that might apply to women too. Senator Patterson said he didn't know about women, but maybe.

It is sad that after over 30 years, women and black folk sometimes still act like the crabs.

You don't need white men to hold anyone back. There are claws at your back.

Even President Obama "wasn't black enough" and acted "white." It's legion. But as Senator Patterson didn't know much about women, I can't really talk about that, since I'm just looking from the outside.

I can talk about women.

I love women. Some of my best friends are women. I count on women. But there are some women who act as if they have been raised to be cortesans or something. They are nasty and competitive with other women, never supportive. They are mean girls.

If a woman succeeds, they say, "She slept her way to the top."

If a woman chooses to stay in a traditional role, they say she is lazy and stupid.

If a woman has a husband, bright children, a sharp mind, and a good heart, they do everything they can do to ruin her.

People (usually other women) will often say that they can't stand having a female boss because women are petty or flaky or random. And there are women who make crappy bosses. There are men who make crappy bosses.

But some women don't want to have a woman for a boss because they are so insecure and jealous, they can't deal with women except in competition for men. They have a brothel mentality. They are stuck in middle school, where they whisper about loose girls, girls with ugly clothes, fat girls... These women are "mean girls" all grown up and still as pathetic and sad as ever. All that's missing is that Clearisil smile.

I have a friend in a situation like that now. (She is also black, so she has also been accused of "acting white" and "being uppity" by black women who were supposed to be her loyal employees.) She is the director of a small charter school. She has been recognized and honored statewide and nationally. Most of the parents and almost all of the children love and respect her. Largely due to her skills and energy, the school is a great success. She empowers and encourages teachers and students. She holds everyone accountable. She is tough and she is fair. She is the leader.

If she were a man, these women would be lying at her feet. Instead, they are jealous and bitter. Although they cloak themselves in a desire to "help the teachers" not have to work so hard, they act by trying to ruin her reputation. Instead of saying that she is too tough (which men never are, incidently), they say she sleeps with men who aren't her husband. Instead of saying that they disagree with her policies, they say she is a witch and should be sent to hell (I am not making that up.)

I know of another situation in which the old "mean girls" have made allegations of impropriety against a woman whom they know in a social club and have harassed her in her job, her church, and her home. I'm sure you all know of similar cases.

What's with these sad pathetic women? Men don't do this kind of thing. They shoot each other, maybe, but then it's back to the bar for a beer. Women nurse grudges like a new born baby.

When will we learn to support each other, or at least act in a civilized manner. When will these chicks learn the difference between disagreement and disagreeable? When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn?

REBLOG: What Inquiry Isn't

2010-03-16T03:26:00.000-07:00

I wrote this in September 2007, and since it's tax season and since no one read this the first time, I'm running it again. OK? Thanks.

It seems that when people --- parents, teachers, community members --- ask what inquiry based education is, they often hear "I can tell you what it isn't." While I think there is an affirmative answer, like inquiry itself, it must be discovered and uncovered rather than put forth as a definition.

One of the founders of our charter school Sue does a wonderful job of showing inquiry. She leads the audience in a mini-lesson which begins with people calling out names of animals and moves through many other steps to illustrate how exploration can be used in all aspects of education. There is the sorting, which can be scientific and mathematical; then the wondering why we picked these animals, which can bring in social studies and self-discovery; then of course, reading about the animals... language arts. My description is clear as mud, I realize. Hmm, maybe we should say, "you have to see it to believe it."

One of the most common misunderstandings of inquiry are that it is dippy "let children do what they want because they are so wonderful who needs manners?" type of method. Some people who believe this actually want this for their children. Fortunately, this isn't what inquiry is. I'm all for conversing with children, listening to their unique view points and watching their little brains work as they are exposed to new ideas. There is something magical about a child carefully explaining some important point to an adult, mimicking his parents' checking strategy: "Do you hear me? What did I say?" But I'm also a big fan of civility. I don't think that a child's creativity or inquisitiveness are stifled by being expected to follow rules, listen to others, not hit other children in the privates.

In fact, inquiry demands a child have self-control (which the teacher helps to develop), independence, and ownership of his/her education process. They have to be responsible. If they are struggling, they need to ask for help. If they are "bored" (a word my children are not allowed to say), they must reach into their inner resources and make their learning experience richer, deeper, and wider. The teachers are there to help, but it is ultimately the child who will be the life-long learner. There will be a learning hum in a classroom, and good noise that means children are interacting and learning. However, respect for self, others, and the world around us are essential elements of our school. Everyone is entitled to a safe place to learn the way he/she learns best. Parents who believe that their child should not be guided to civility, while believing other people's children should bow to their little darlings' needs, are very disappointed. I have two words for them: Home School.

Another misguided view, I believe, is that inquiry is an end all and be all. A teacher of inquiry draws on children's natural curiosity and guides him/her toward discovery. However, the most important thing is that children learn well, and to do that, teachers need to draw on many methods and techniques. As an example, many people are convinced "phonics" is the way to teach reading. At some point, whole word became the darling of educators. The thing is, people learn to read using different methods and strategies. Both phonics and whole word are tools, but not the only tool. Similarly, inquiry is a philosophy, a background for teaching, but the teacher will use many tools to facilitate it. Educators should use what works, not get hung up on labels and fads. Flexibility is expected of children and should be encouraged in teachers.

The third notion of inquiry, that makes me really angry, is that inquiry is only appropriate for upper middle class children (probably white, but the critics won't say that.) All children, no matter what their background, are curious explorers. Some have it beaten (figuratively if not literally) out of them earlier than others, but all have the spark. Children can learn when they are a part of their education, are taught the way they learn, have relevant curriculum, and are respected as learners. And even when the spark has been smothered by years of factory-based education, it can be reignited by caring, patient, and respectful teachers. We have seen it happen.

Our school emphasized a child's role in his/her education. The students see themselves as writers, scientists, readers, social scientists, and citizens of the world. They have the tools to learn no matter where they go. Their strength comes from their rediscovered inner resources and not outside props. We are young and still learners ourselves. There is far to go, and mistakes have been made. But like rational, civilized people, we have learned from our mistakes and seek to improve. And like rational, healthy people, we recognize the strengths and great things that have happened and are continuing to happen.

Public education is extremely important to the health and well-being of our society. I believe it's important to have educated, rational, civilized innovators as our current and future citizens. And I believe inquiry-based education is the way to get that.

Is multi-age inquiry-based education too hard on teachers?

2010-02-15T03:39:00.000-08:00

Carolina School for Inquiry made AYP this year, its fourth year of existence. WOO-HOO!!!

Many new schools aren't judged for AYP (adequate yearly progress) until their fourth year because it takes at least that long for the effects of the new school to overcome the old schools. In the case of CSI, a charter school, Richland School District One chose to be cautious and use AYP to keep track even in the first three years.

Not only did CSI make AYP, it is leading the district in many areas of testing on the statewide PASS test.

This is important not only to CSI parents, teachers, and students, but to all advocates of excellent public education for all people.

This is what we heard from detractors, mostly in Columbia, but even from some blogger in Alaska:

Inquiry is for white, middle-class children. Other children don't learn because they aren't (fill-in-the-blank) culturally/genetically/mentally able to learn through inquiry. They need tables, worksheets, and yelling teachers. (How's that tably/worksheety/yelly thing workin' for ya?)
Inquiry lets children do whatever they want and so they won't learn basic skills or achieve the standards or learn the essential boring stuff.
Teachers aren't willing to work hard enough to properly implement inquiry.

This is what we see:

Carolina School for Inquiry has a diverse population of students. It reflects the urban/rural, social, cultural, and ethnic makeup of Richland School District One.

As a charter school, every child has a parent who decided to give multi-age, inquiry-based education a try, although not every parent is able to be in the school as often as they'd like (including me.) Parents do make a difference in their child's education, but we can't blame the parent and move on. As Victoria Dixon-Mokeba says, each child brings the best parents they have and if that's not such a great parent, that child still needs to learn.

Carolina School for Inquiry has some excellent, committed, professional teachers. These teachers work longer and harder than many of their counterparts in traditional public or private schools. They attend professional development courses to improve their knowledge and skills in both subject matter and in inquiry, multi-age, and differentiated education theory and practice. They grade not with simple formulas and ABCs, but with a combination of kidwatching and written and oral evaluation.

My son's report cards are always at least four pages long, and in them I can see that his teachers really know him as a learner. We have been lucky to have teachers committed to multi-age inquiry since he began here in third grade. I understand that not all teachers at the school have been willing to put this kind of time into the narrative report cards, and I feel sorry that their parents and students haven't experienced a well-honed narrative report card.

In order for Inquiry to be done right, the teachers have to be committed. They need to understand differentiated education and know how to implement it. They need to have a carefully crafted plan. Although Inquiry teachers are flexible, they can't fly by the seat of their pants. Each child needs to have what is in effect an IEP, an individual education plan. The teachers can't use pre-fab lesson plans, even if they have "worked" in traditional classrooms for 25 years. At CSI, there are no children left behind. The teachers can't say, "I've done all I can with that one, he's a lost cause." Each child must learn to be the best learner he or she can be. No excuses. No "try" only "do."

A couple of teachers are complaining that multi-age, inquiry based education is too hard. They can't say it doesn't work. They don't say the kids don't learn. They say that it is too hard. They focus on multi-age, saying the class levels are too broad, but as we have said, if inquiry is done right, the developmental levels are not so important as in a traditional classroom. We don't need "bluebirds" and "crows."

And as I've said, my son's teachers have all been committed to the best student learning, so I don't really understand what the other teachers' problems are. But I do know that Carolina School for Inquiry is a school of choice and if it doesn't fit the need of a teacher, they should find a more traditional, easier school at which to teach.

There are thousands and thousands of committed, energetic, professional, child-loving teachers out there. CSI only needs seven of them.

Congratulations to Victoria Dixon-Mokeba and the fine staff and faculty, to all of the students, and to all of the families and friends of CSI. We are a success and now almost everyone knows it.

A better place to be: Carolina School for Inquiry

2010-02-11T05:39:00.000-08:00

Over five years ago, I became part of a group of people who wanted their children, and all children, to have a better place to learn. After some discussion and research, we decided to start a child-centered, inquiry-based, multi-age public charter school in Richland County school district one.

I almost didn’t become a part of CSI because I had misconceptions about what a charter school is.

I thought that a charter school was a sneaky way of having a private school paid for with public money. I thought charter schools were conservative, using old-fashioned methods that people think used to work to teach kids, but never really worked for most kids. I thought charter schools had uniforms, workbooks, and rote teaching.

Instead, I learned that a charter school is a laboratory to test innovative ideas to see if they will help improve education for all children.

A group with an innovative idea establishes a contract with the state of SC and with the school district, in our case Richland One, promising that our idea will work BETTER to educate the children of SC. The key is to find a new way of teaching. In our case, we took two tried and true methods, inquiry and multi-age, and combined them in a way that we believed would improve all children’s learning.

In addition, the charter group promises to teach ALL children better, not just the ones we might pick and choose. In the process, the charter organization takes on a great responsibility for both education and finances.

The contract between Carolina School for Inquiry and Richland One says that our innovative method that we believe will better educate children is a CHILD-CENTERED, MULTI-AGE, INQUIRY-BASED curriculum. This is not the only way to teach, but this is what CSI has agreed to do.

When we first established the school, some parents tried to change it to what they thought a charter school was. Some wanted more homework and less talk among student, but that is not CSI. A couple of parents thought the school would allow their children to run wild and “express themselves” in ways that society deems inappropriate. That is not CSI. Currently, a couple of teachers and a handful of parents are saying that multi-age doesn’t work for them and the charter should be changed.

I have to ask them if they have checked our test scores. I have to wonder if they have looked at the students’ success. I have to wonder if they are committed to the CSI charter.

I have been lucky to have teachers committed to the learning of each child. When Mark was in third grade, the first year of CSI, he had a wonderful teacher. Although she was a first year teacher, I think she understood and was committed to inquiry in a way that some teachers entrenched in traditional learning aren’t. She was like the Good Shepherd of the parable, who knew each child’s name. She also knew what he or she liked and didn’t like to do and how to encourage a child to push beyond the “easy” to the challenge. She steered Mark toward books that he enjoyed, and helped him get past his obsession at the time --- a fine set of books that he’d really outgrown.
I use her as an example, but as I said, all of Mark’s teachers have been wonderful. And one of his best is a teacher who succeeded in traditional schools for years but has fully embraced the multi-age, inquiry-based curriculum of CSI.
One concern I have heard about multi-age classes is that it is hard to teach children with such a broad range of development and abilities. And yet, walk into any group of six year olds and you will find a broad range of development levels and abilities. In fact, one child may be all over the chart in his physical, emotional, and intellectual development. He may be great at math but struggle with language arts. She may be able to read on a 5th grade level but have the social skills of a kindergartener.

The idea of multi-age education is to teach children where they are developmentally, without stigmatizing them by “holding them back” or pushing them ahead when they are not socially ready.

With Inquiry-based education, each child should be learning in his own way in any case. Although it might not be necessary to have formalized forms such as used in special ed, each child should, in essence, have an IEP, his or her individual education plan. If each child is being taught in the way he or she can best learn, the multi-age issue is moot. It’s hard work for the teacher, but it is a great way for the children to succeed.

Being a part of a charter school is harder for parents, teachers, and administrators, but we CHOOSE to be a part because of our commitment to excellent public education. Our goal is student achievement: every child will be the best he or she can be. It doesn’t matter where his starts, how he stacks up against others, or what we want him to be. He needs to be his best.
And CSI has done this well. Look at the children. If you can, read the narrative report card, which tells you exactly what your child can and cannot do, where he is strongest and where he needs to challenge himself. Ask Ms. Dixon-Mokeba if you can see Mark’s report card. I’m as proud of the teachers who took the time and who had the knowledge of my son to write them as I am of my son. Look at our over-all test scores: look at the levels of improvement since the child-centered multi-age inquiry based curriculum has been given a chance to take hold. Look at the success in AYP.

Does looping (having a teacher go from grade to another with the child) work? Yeah, it does. There is plenty of evidence in Richland One and Two. So much so, I’d have to suggest it’s not innovative. Does that mean other schools shouldn’t use it? Of course not. Does that mean CSI, as a charter should be allowed to use it? No. It’s not innovative.

Carolina School for Inquiry is a SUCCESSFUL CHILD-CENTERED, MULTI-AGE, INQUIRY-BASED school. Our children are excelling, and I pray they will be able to continue to grow. And to those teachers & parents who feel that child-centered, multi-age, inquiry-based education is not right for you or your child, I wish you the best and hope you find a better place for YOU to be.

Adam Smith and the INTP Writing Spider

2009-10-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

Adam Smith wrote of the free market system in the Wealth of Nations, saying "by pursuing his own interest, [the individual] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he intends to promote it."

The idea is that people act in their own best interests, and if those interests opposed other interests, they bounce off each other in a logical, mathematical way, like laser beams or those charts that David Stockton used to describe trickle down economics. As conflicting interests intersect, they cause actions which, in the end, lead to fair prices, exactly enough production, and wealth and happiness for all.

The problem here, as I see it, is that Adam Smith was INTP (like me.) He believed that people acted in their own best interests. He couldn't believe that people would act in a way that was harmful to their best interest in order to harm others. He probably said, "don't cut off your nose to spite your face" a lot. He probably saw that some people acted counter to their own self-interest in order to help others, but that would usually be small and concentrated --- like a church or a family or a small village helping others even if they sacrificed their own best interest. (Some people insist that altruism is another way of acting in one's own best interest, with the interest being "feeling good" or salvation or something. I don't care.)

But Adam Smith (OK, I'm projecting, get over it), couldn't believe that people would, for instance, refuse to hire the best person for a job because of personal dislike or prejudice. He (and by that I mean "I") couldn't believe that people would support a friend even if that friend's actions destroyed the business, family, community or whatever they were building. He certainly couldn't understand a person who supported someone she hated simply because she hated the opponent more. (The enemy of my enemy is my friend.)

The free market system, as an economic or social model, isn't going to operate the way it has been projected to act because the basic premise is wrong: people do not act in their own best interest. They are willful, ornery, and stupid. (Sorry, I meant to avoid that word.)

Now, does that mean that the other side of the dichotomy does work as predicted? Communism is based on the notion that people will act in the best interest of the community so that overall people will be better off.

Right.

That does work in some cases, but they tend to be small scale and/or short lived. Families, churches, Utopian communities all operate fairly well as communal groups. It probably worked better in the old days, and it surely works better in non-Western societies where individualism isn't as valued as it is here.

I mean, I live in SC, where people who hate guns own guns just because someone from NY City said they shouldn't. I've known people who smoked even though they wanted to quit because it pissed them off that anyone would tell them not to (OK, that was me.) I personally eat extra carbs to balance all of those poor souls on low-carb diets. (What, you always act in your own self interest?) So, what I'm saying is that if people don't act in their own self interest, they aren't going to act in the communal interest either. At least, not most people.

OK, you ask, what type of economy do you think we should have?

How should I know? I answer. I'm really thinking about myself and why I don't act in my own self interest by eating well, praying for peace, and buying locally. I'm thinking about my INTP tendency to think people will act in their own self-interest. Even if it's not mine, it's rational & I can plan for it. But no, they cut off their noses to spite their faces, and I'm left with mouth agape staring at No-nose and thinking, "Wow. I didn't see that coming." Every day. Over and over again. Every. Single. Day.

So I'm writing it in my web in the hopes that I can at least entertain myself.

Note to self: People are freakin' nuts. Drink more water.

Unhealth Care

2009-08-19T04:30:00.000-07:00

In late 2007, we had a meningitis scare in our house. Fortunately it was viral & everyone is now well. Unfortunately, we spent a good bit of time in the hospital to find out it wasn't bacterial for Gabe, Robert, and Katy and to find out that Mark and Joseph did not have it at all, I guess.

Robert and Katy were both very sick and in different rooms in the adult emergency room. Gabe was in the infant section of the children's hospital, with Bob and me by his crib-side. Katy & Gabe had Medicaid, but Robert was uninsured. They ran tests on Katy & Gabe, figuring that if they had bacterial meningitis so did Robert.

At the urging of Gabe's doctor, we brought Mark and Joseph to the emergency room. They both had flu-like symptoms and at that point, bacterial meningitis was a possibility.

Joseph was brought into the adult emergency room, where he stayed in a pod for two days until they decided he probably had the flu. Mark was seen by a doctor in the pediatric emergency room who looked at him, pronounced him well and sent him home. Mark's bill was almost $600. Joseph's was over $1200. We had met the family deductible of $700, so we only had to pay $125 special co-pay (for following doctor's advice and taking them to the emergency room), plus regular co-pays for about $250 each.

Everyone survived, and this is the lesson:

The health care debate is about the wrong things... for the most part.
Many Opponents of health care reform have put up a straw man and are fighting him well. "Medical care should be between a patient and the doctor." "Don't let the government get between you and your doctor." My elderly neighbor announced that all people in the US have perfectly good health care, why change it if it isn't broken?

Proponents have presented plans that will essentially make the government the insurer or which will subsidize private insurers, and that doesn't really solve the problem, either.

Medical insurance does not equal medical care.

More recently, I was waiting to see a doctor at a Doc-in-the-Box (where I read almost all of A Portrait of a Lady by Henry James, a short but dense book), when a woman brought her son in for care. She presented her insurance card --- the same insurance as I have --- and was told she'd have to pay $300 that day in order for him to be seen because she had not met his deductible. She didn't have $300. Also, the billing clerk should have said "up to" $300, because it wouldn't have cost that much. Anyway, HIPPA violations aside, this well-insured woman took her sick son home. I finished by novel and saw a doctor two hours later.

Remember, insurance companies are there to MAKE MONEY. They make money by RECEIVING MORE PREMIUM MONEY than they PAY OUT IN HEALTH CARE. This is only possible if THEY DENY HEALTH CARE CLAIMS.

Medical decisions are not made between a patient and a doctor, but between a billing clerk at either the insurance company or medical facility and the potential patient.

I have been prescribed medication only to find that my insurance company doesn't agree with my doctor. My doctor's office has to explain to my insurance company why I need a mammogram or a colonoscopy. Preventive health care is rarely provided, even though it would be beneficial economically and medically. Health Care professionals do not call the shots. The Insurance companies do... if you are luck enough to have insurance.

A "death panel" does not decide if you get life-saving treatment, your bank account decides.

Sarah Palin does not believe that Trig's worth should be determined by his mental or physical abilities, but by his parent's bank accounts.

She is not the only parent struggling with a child's illnesses and health needs. She can be cavalier in suggesting Trig might not get treatment, because, unlike many parents, she knows he always will.

Sit in the chemotherapy rooms at any oncology center and listen to the people there wondering if they should pay for another round of chemo or for groceries. Listen to older adults wondering if it is right for them to spend their families' money on what may be hopeless.

Sometimes we just don't need that extra test...

I'm sorry Dr. D, I love you, but I really did not need that nuclear stress test. And did they have to hook me up to a monitor every time I gave birth? (Well, in my cases, probably... but that's not my point.) Can you please send me to a nutritionist instead of prescribing cholesterol medication? Tell me to get off my a$$, quit smoking, put down the donut? I know it doesn't sound doctorish, but does all medicine have to come in a bottle or by way of a trillion dollar machine with bells and whistles signifying nothing? Do I have to go to a specialist to have ear wax removed? (OK, it was fossilized and the size of a grape, but that's not my point.)

We really need health care reform, but I don't think we are going to get it until we have a clear picture of what we have right now. Then we can figure out where the problem is and what we can do to fix it.

But this atmosphere in which the word "compromise" is coupled with "wishy-washy" and "flip-flop" is damn un-American... on everyone's part. To everyone involved, I say: take an aspirin and let's talk about this in the morning.

Mark & Jen + 4 million

2009-07-01T04:47:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have searched the constitution of SC and discovered that, yes, it is an impeachable offense to refuse to SHUT THE F&%# UP already. Not really, but it ought to be.

I was first asked, "do you know where your governor is?" at the National Alliance for Public Charter Schools, I said, "of course not and who cares?" Then I found out that he was actually missing. The drama played out and the jokes piled up, but no one really thought that a woman would be involved because: 1) everyone knows Jenny has the money, the looks, the brains, and the political savvy in the family & 2) who would do it with that self-centered ice prince unless she was invested in him?

But no, some Argentine chick is his soul-mate. The shared really nauseating e-mails, which unfortunately we all got to see. (Note to self: erase all e-mails.) He has had "media availabilities" in which he rambles about his boyhood on ~~the plantation with the colored folk singing Swing Low Sweet Chariot~~ the farm, his psyche and his "tragic" love affair. Oh for Pete's sake, Mark, Romeo and Juliet is tragic. Mark and Maria is vaudeville.

And do I feel sorry for the tragic hero? Hell no. I feel sorry for Jenny Sanford who has to listen to the father of her children prattling on about his freaking soul-mate and announce to CNN that he will try to learn to love his wife again. Hey, Jen, I got your back. If you run over him with your SUV, I'm pretty sure you'll get off with a speeding ticket.

But I am really sorry for the 4 million citizens of SC who are damn sick and fed up with hearing the words "South Carolina" on late night talk shows. It's bad enough that this self-centered, arrogantly shabby governor has refused to work even with his own party members in the legislature because he's smarter than all of us. It's bad enough that this trust fund baby tried to refuse stimulus money that this poor state desperately needs. It's bad enough that the failed governor of a small southern state has considered taking his brand of elite arrogance to the White House. Now we are embroiled in an absurd lust triangle and are led by the LUV GUV.

And to make it worse, if he resigns, the Lite Guv takes over, and that can't be good.

Technical/business education vs College Prep

2009-06-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

OK, this is a question. I'd like opinions, links to articles, information. I'd prefer good constructive comments, but I'd be thrilled with any comments at all.

Should there be middle/high schools devoted to technical/apprentice type careers, separate from college prep schools? Are we helping kids who will becomes electricians, plumbers, masons, etc. by giving them a curriculum designed as an apprenticeship with business-slanted courses? Or are we shuffling them toward something limited?

My thoughts, which are rambling and incomplete:

Not everyone wants to go to college, but is it necessary to survive? Do even skilled tradespeople need a college degree? Is it elitist to insist that only college prep is valuable? Is it elitist to say that skilled tradespeople don't need to read Shakespeare? Does anyone need to read Shakespeare?

If we do have apprenticeship programs, I think they should be rigorous and include rigorous history, math, English, science, business, and foreign language.

I see contractors and others who are very good at what they do but are confused about the business aspect and get caught up in payroll, business licenses, and tax problems. It would be helpful to teach business stuff to tradespeople.

What is important (relevant?) history, English, science?

Whether a child goes into business after high school or on to college, they need to be able to analyze and make decisions. We need to teach beyond the test.

Enough rambling. Help me out here, please.

Random thoughts on Edumakation

2009-06-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

South Carolina's constitution calls for a public education system. The courts and the legislature have interpreted that to mean "minimally adequate," & some days I think that's not being met. For years, SC would entice business with the catchy slogan, "our folk don't know jack, but they work cheap." And the school system taught folk to read enough to read their Bible (sort of), to show up someplace on time, and to sit still until a bell rang.

SC wasn't alone with the factory model of education. Children rode in big yellow buses to little red school houses where they learned to sit still and regurgitate information. Their fathers rode on gray buses to gray buildings to sit in cubicles or on factory lines and regurgitate information. The training was minimally adequate. And it was training.

As the nature of the work changed, workers needed to be more technologically and scientifically aware, and so technology and science was emphasized. Nothing creative --- just enough so they don't break the laser.

Have you seen the e-mails people send around about "The good old days" and what a high school student knew in 1880 or whatever? Those things make me nuts.

What we think of as education --- great works, great discourse, great thoughts --- have always been limited to the elite. Whether they thought the masses were incapable of learning or they thought it would be dangerous to teach them, there was no widespread education. In The Good Old Days, 99% of high school graduates may have been able to read Ulysses in Greek, but then, very few people actually went that far.

Now we want to educate all kids. It's hard, but it isn't impossible. Administrators, teachers, politicians, and parents whine about each other. Teachers are greedy, parents are slack. The politicians don't want people to be smarter than they are which really lowers the bar. Administration hires another consultant for half a million dollars, then cries because they can't afford books.

Everyone is invested in the education system. Everyone has an agenda, and far too often, it's not what is best for the kids.

What is the answer? I don't know. But I'm thinking about it. And this I do know: there is not one answer. People learn in different ways. People relate to different things. People want to do different things and need different skill sets.

Good teachers already know this and act on it. How do we expand this so that it is understandable to a larger population? Should we clone good schools and good teachers? How do we encourage innovation with accountability?

I don't know, but I'm thinking about it.

33 days to go

2009-06-27T06:12:00.000-07:00

on my 90 day goals. I am eating better and if walking around Washington DC for three days isn't exercise, what is?

I have just returned from the National Alliance for Public Charter Schools national conference. I am feeling energized and excited about quality public education. I am really excited about the choices being offered to students and their parents, all with the goal of excellent education.

I am going to spend some time thinking and talking to people and writing about choices in public education. There are schools which teach all subjects in French, Montessori schools, Core Knowledge schools, legal and law enforcement focus schools, Padeia schools, vocational schools... the possibilities are endless. It's a question of what students and parents want, how students best learn, and how teachers can get the best from ALL students --- no excuses.

Right now, I am going to clean my house, sort my bills & flexible medical account forms, and work on the lessons for the enrolled agent exam.

I still think I may be able to pass all three parts by July 30 (my birthday.)

I am not sure I am going to take pottery classes in July. I may wait until August, when I have more money.

I am eating a rainbow or two a day. I was even able to get some color when we went to DC. I had Mediterranean veggies and rice one day for lunch (yellow, green, orange, maybe blue) and lots of colors with the Ethiopian meal we ate one night. Lots of ubiquitous lettuce and tomato, of course.

It is a furnace in Columbia, of course, but I think I'll throw on my shoes, grab my sweet-cake hubby, and hit the road. Walk ten minutes, turn around and walk home. How hard is that?

But first... one more cup of coffee for the road...

Sunday Focus

2009-06-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

I have just returned from a week at the beach and it has occurred to me that 1/3 of my 90 days have passed and I haven't done Jack. In less than 60 days, I'll be 49 years old. At the end of April (on the other blog, I just realized), I set four goals to accomplish by my birthday.

Study for & pass the Enrolled Agent Exam

Take a pottery class

Develop better eating & moving habits

Clean and organize my house

I have done:

Nothing

OK, I am eating at least a rainbow a day, along with a lot of other crap that needs to go. But that's something. I walked on the beach, but walking one week out of the year is not going to cut it. Sure, Forest Acres isn't the beach, but what is? Maybe I should go walk in the swamp. I'll bet the snakes are out.

On the day I discovered FlyLady.com, I was so inspired that in a frenzy of cleaning and organizing, I swept my front porch. Yeah, I'm thinking there is more to do, too. I have managed to keep the health inspector satisfied (if she doesn't open the cupboards), but I think my standards should be higher.

I have thought about the enrolled agent exam, but since I have to take all three parts and I don't have any money, it just depresses me.

I am going to take the pottery class... maybe in August instead of July, though. No... I'll take the damn class. I've wanted to do that for 40 years. I won't put it off even a month.

OK, well now I'm going to take my Dad's car back and walk back. Then I'm going to clean the public areas of my house. I have some budgeting issues to take care of today, but maybe I can find the money and the inspiration for the enrolled agent exam.

OK: 54 days to go. Surely I can do this. Maybe.

Goodbye Minimally Adequate Guest Post

2009-05-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

Is it a guest post if the guest doesn't know he's posting? I don't
know.

This is written by Jim Rex, the SC Superintendent of Education. Gotta
love him.

"Our state constitution’s language is not unique. At one time or another, 48 of the 50 state constitutions have included a requirement that required them to provide not good schools, just free ones. But some of those states – states who are our competitors for high-skilled and high-paying jobs – have decided to raise the bar for themselves.
Take Florida, whose constitution required “a uniform system of free public schools.” Ten years ago, Florida’s voters amended their state constitution to read this way: “The education of children is a fundamental value of the people of the State of Florida. It is, therefore, a paramount duty of the state to make adequate provision for the education of all children residing within its borders. Adequate provision shall be made by law for a uniform, efficient, safe, secure, and high quality system of free public schools that allows students to
obtain a high quality education…”
Florida isn’t alone. Virginia and Illinois also set a new state requirement for “high-quality” schools, and Maryland decided to require that its schools be “thorough and efficient.” South Carolina schools, meanwhile, are required to be free and minimally adequate.Fortunately, we no longer have to be saddled with such a self-defeating standard. Senate bill 1136 proposes a constitutional amendment that would require a system of “high-quality” public schools. I think this proposal is worthy of a thorough discussion in the General Assembly.

Will a constitutional amendment solve the deep-seated problems of public education in South Carolina? Of course not. But significant improvements have been made and nationally recognized, and more improvements are on the way. In the meantime, South Carolina needs a constitutional standard that defines our goals and aspirations better than “minimally adequate.” And I believe voters should define that standard, not judges. In Florida, parents, taxpayers and business
people jumped at the chance to strengthen their state’s constitution.

Seventy-one percent of the voters in Florida’s 1998 constitutional
referendum approved the new language that made high-quality public schools a “paramount duty” of the state.

I believe South Carolinians would make just as strong a commitment. Our children deserve it, and our future demands it."

2009-05-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Now that it is Not Tax Season, Fridays are my "day off." I probably shouldn't tell anyone that. I should tell everyone I'm going to work. I should get dressed, drive off, and then come back after everyone is gone and go back to bed. Or not.

This week we have Gabe and Brendon, which makes best laid plans seem like cloudy wisps of outlines of what I might have done if I hadn't had to hold Brendon and Gabe all day.

OK, it wasn't that bad. Brendon is fine in his swing if it's in the kitchen where I am cleaning and blogging. Gabe has some really cool wooden blocks on the kitchen floor. They make a really great noise when he throws them in the cast iron crab pot. And let's face it, I'd rather hold the babies than wash dishes anyway.

So today, I have cleaned a little. And of course, we all took a long nap (not long enough for me, let me tell you.)

This week, I will:

clean my room
sort clothes
sort socks while thinking of Shawn's alternate sock universe
move the bird bath to the back and plant some butterfly bushes around it
do whatever it is I need to do at work (that's another list)
walk at least ONCE
eat the angel way at least three days (OK, I'm in restart mode and moving slowly)
take the initial steps for a huge fundraising gala for Carolina School for Inquiry in the fall

As always, wish me good luck.

6th grade at CSI

2009-04-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

This is the letter I sent to the Richland One Superintendent. I hope it helps. I talked to the counselor at the school Mark is zoned to, and she seems really cool. I know Mark would do well at Sanders Middle School, mostly because he'd get in the advanced classes. What about kids who won't be in advanced classes? Don't they deserve to be treated with respect, encouraged to explore, taught in the way they learn best? And I really really really hate Accelerated Reader. Really.

The letter:

Dear Dr. Mack,

As a parent and a strong supporter of excellent public education in South
Carolina, I am writing to support the implementation of a sixth grade at
Carolina School for Inquiry public charter school.
My son Mark has been a student at CSI since its inception when he started third
grade. Previously he had attended South Kilbourne elementary and Harmony
School, a multi-aged inquiry based private school. Although he had caring
teachers at both schools, neither of those school situations offered what
Carolina School for Inquiry has given him.

He has blossomed as a learner and as a responsible citizen in a school with a
diverse population and an atmosphere of kindness & respect. Nowhere
else would Mark be able to interact with children of such diverse ethnic,
cultural, and socio-economic backgrounds and be able to learn not only the
designated curriculum but what it means to be a responsible individual and
member of society.

As a board member and frequent visitor to the school, I have seen other children
blossom as well. Carolina School for Inquiry has shown the nay-sayers who
claimed that Inquiry can only be used to teach middle-class children that they
are wrong. Most children learn better when they are respected and expected
to respect others, and when they see themselves as scientists, historians,
readers, writers, and citizens and not as observers.

I want this learning to continue, and I know that Carolina School for Inquiry
can serve a 6th grade population as well as it has the K-5 students.
Please give us the chance to show you and all other people who care about
quality education how well Inquiry can work on the 6th grade level.

Sincerely,

Katharine Duffy Thomas
Parent
Chairman of the Board of Directors
Carolina School for Inquiry

The Laziest Person on This Earth

2009-04-20T04:58:00.000-07:00

I finally quit working at the church, although I'm going back to train one day --- maybe two (payroll). It was only eight hours a week (on top of the 40+ during tax season, & 30 when it's not), and the people are great to work with, the job isn't hard, the love flows as freely as the good humor and support. Still, it was just too much, on top of everything else. I kept thinking that I OUGHT to be able to do this. What's wrong with me? Everyone works harder than I do and they don't complain.

Many years ago, my mother got angry with me about something I didn't do and said I was the laziest person on this Earth. She said that kind of thing to me all the time, I think, but that is the time I remember it. It almost killed me. It didn't, of course, but every time I sit down to read or write or enjoy a sunset, I hear a voice telling me that I am the laziest person in the world and that I have work to do. If I try to do something big, the voice says: You'll give it up before you finish & you'll just let everybody down. Everyone knows I am the laziest person on Earth.

I can usually ignore it, but it always there.

So when I thought of quitting my second job, I felt lazy and useless. I thought that we needed the money, and if I gave up reading and blogging and happy hour and gardening, I could do both jobs. I thought if I wasn't so lazy, I could do it all.

Thank god it didn't take a crisis like a very sick child to snap me out of it. It was just Mark's small voice: "Mom, when can I talk to you?"

And when I say, "Snap me out of it" I know it's just for now. Because, really I am the laziest person on this Earth.

Focus Focus Focus Friday

2009-04-17T03:20:00.001-07:00

Today, I am going to do a bunch of nothing or everything. I am going to reconnect with some people I haven't been able to see much during tax season. I am going to buy a dress for my daughter-in-law's sister's wedding. I am buying a belt and shoes for Mark and helping Joseph pick up his suit. (He doesn't know that means he gets to help me pick out my dress.)

I am tying up some lose ends at the church (they found someone to take over! Yeah!) but I won't be spending as much time as I thought I would. I'm going to lunch with my hubby. I am picking up my new glasses. I may go by Verizon to figure out why I've had "no signal" for four days.

And then I will go to happy hour on the deck at my sister's house.

What a nice day.

While I'm running around, I will be thinking about what I need to do this week, this month, this year. For me, the end of tax season is the start of the new year, but without the funny hats and fireworks.

I need to really clean my house. Seriously. I might have to enlist a counselor to help my get rid of stuff. I'd like to have a yard sale because ~~I'm a masochist~~ ~~I want my stuff to have a good home~~ I want money. I'll have to share with my siblings, because some of this stuff came from my parents' house. I donated it to a yard sale for the school, but ended up bringing home more than I brought. It is an illness, I'm sure. Maybe I should ask Lynette to help, because she's OCD and her illness would complement mine. Or maybe it would just end in lots of crying.

I have a cool plan to build a corner office in the "breakfast nook" of my kitchen. Maybe if I get the ~~junk room~~ den cleaned up, I can work down there and make the breakfast nook a breakfast nook. Or maybe not, because even clean the den is dark.

And I need to decide what to do about my career. I had thought it was time to move on, but maybe it's just time to really do it. We've had several people say they want us to help them with their business accounting. We are the counselor/accountants, specializing in small businesses in which somebody opened a business and a year or two later realized he needed to keep records. Don't ask.

I am really good at explaining taxes to people --- personal & business, or at least making it fairly clear what they are paying and how to keep records. Although I am not a "people person," people don't seem to get that. (I also have the same problem with dogs, but dogs are sluts.) So as long as I can build in my quiet time, I think I'm going to have to embrace the "communicator" side of myself. Wish me luck. I also need coagulants, because I tend to get too personally involved in people's problems --- feeling their pain, even if I can't help.

I am going to take the enrolled agent exam. I need to start over, but I feel OK about it. I need a label to help my legitimacy, you know? And God has been taken. A lot.

So was there any focus here? Oh well... when is happy hour?

2009-04-16T04:52:00.000-07:00

Mark spent his spring break in Washington, DC with his cousins, aunt and grandparents rather than at home with his mother who was suffering from tax-season induced dementia.

He is back and in school, while I'm ready to hang out. I can't wait until school gets out next month so we can take some tours.

One year, my mother was working on a political campaign and couldn't take off for our usual week or two at the beach. Dad decided to take one or two days at a time and take us to historical & other interesting sites around S. C. It may have been 1970 --- the year of the South Carolina Tricentennial celebrations. I remember going to Camden, where they had people dressed up as soldiers and civilians from the American Revolutionary era. I don't remember if there was a reenactment of the battle of Camden, but I think the original battle involved two armies missing each other and a lot of dysentery. I don't remember that stuff any more. I suppose I should look it up. We also went to Kings Mountain, which is a naturally beautiful place. The ghosts of brothers who killed each other in the battles & skirmishes around there aren't as loud as the mockingbirds and the jays, but it's hard to miss them.

I think I'll take Mark, Roslyn, Shayna and anyone else who will fit in my minivan and wants to go to some of these places this year. That would be an accomplishment.

Pass the sunscreen and the bug repellent.

Focus Friday

2009-04-10T05:45:00.001-07:00

It will come as no surprise that I am focusing on getting everything done by next Wednesday. Yesterday, I sorted through a whole bunch of problems, and I think they are under control. This morning, I need to tie up the loose ends --- the part I don't like so much. I'm so over these tax returns.

I am trying to get the tying up done quickly, because I have a pile of big returns. AND of course: Easter. Who put Easter the weekend before tax day? What were they thinking?

The latest day Easter can fall is April 25. That would work for me. Then Mark would have spring break AFTER tax season, I could dye eggs & make pineapple upside down cake and do all of the cool Easter things without rushing. I do them anyway, it's just a little last minute. Like the trip to BiLo tomorrow morning to pick up stuff for the Easter Bunny. I hope the Cadbury Eggs aren't all gone.

So this week:

Every freaking detail in the office, like making sure we actually e-filed everyone we were supposed e-file.

Massively large tax returns that look like the final exam in an upper level tax class. Did you know you can't section 179 rental property?

Easter

Mark will be back from his wonderful trip to Washington, DC tomorrow afternoon. We'll dye eggs tomorrow night. Gabe is 20 months old, so he gets his first Easter egg hunt! Woo-hoo!

OK --- back to the taxes.

Gratitude

2009-03-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

I have spent a whole lot of time whining lately, so I want to tell this story. It's still got the whine, of course. I gotta be me.

Yesterday, while driving from my first job to my second job at 8:00 a.m., and feeling a little blurry-eyed, I saw a garbage truck. I thought, "Oh my god, I don't remember putting the garbage on the street."

And then I realized I didn't remember putting the garbage on the street for a long time now. And yet, it gets there. This is because of my darling much maligned, over-worked, under appreciated, etc. etc. husband. He does it (or gets Joseph to do it) every Friday. Or is it Monday? It's some day and I don't have to know when, because he does. Isn't that fabulous?

Thank you Bob. I love you.

(He won't read this, but oh well.)

Focus Friday

2009-03-13T04:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't focused in a couple of Fridays, because all I am doing is dancing as fast as I can. Corporate tax returns are due Monday, which wouldn't be so bad if all of the bookkeeping that needed to be done was clean and pretty and READY. And if M2s would balance like they should. I also have to focus on payroll taxes and then sales tax due next week.

I took off a day last week from job one and caught up at job two. Then I told the wonderful people at job two I was in over my head and couldn't do a good enough job for them. They are understanding, and are finding someone else. I know there are accountants who only want to work eight hours a week. A SAHM who needs a break or a person with a part-time job who wants more work. It's a great place...

Since the break and the break-up, I am feeling so much better about everything. I am not able to sit down and think and focus, but I am not thinking that a small bought with the flu would at least give me a rest.

Have a great week!

This weekend, I will complete 8 (I think) corporate returns, including a year's worth of bookkeeping in two cases.

This week, I will complete my sister's bookkeeping and tax return.

I will begin to do individual tax returns again.

I will move as much as I can.

I will dance as fast as I can and give myself the credit I deserve.

No Snow

2009-03-02T03:05:00.000-08:00

I should buy a lottery ticket. There was a 90% chance of snow and we got the 10%. Not even powdered sugar on the lawn. There is some ice in the driveway, but even I wouldn't slip on it. Although the public schools are closed and Bob's work is delayed until 10, it looks like I am going to work. I won't go in early, though. It's too cold. For me, at least.

Mark will have to make up this day during spring break. I guess we'll send him over to his cousin's house today. They can do whatever children do when they have the day off. In their case, it may be write a book or research a compost box (which I've been asking them to do.) They may, on the other hand, watch the Disney channel and look up "cheats" for their games on line.

Me, I'll be doing payroll, bookkeeping, corporate taxes while answering the phone, filing, reassuring clients who don't want to pay taxes, answering "one quick question" on the phones, tracking returns, helping other people in the office, and explaining to my boss why I am not "generating revenue."

A snow day wouldn't have helped my workload, but it sure would have helped my attitude.

Oh well. Get to work.

Things I would do if it snowed & I still had electricity

2009-03-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

When we talk about snow in Columbia, SC, we always say, "as long as the power doesn't go out, I'll be OK." I guess most people say that, now that I think of it. In Columbia, we can be "snowed in" by two inches of snow, especially if there is ice. This means we get to stay home. It only happens about once every two or three years, so we try to enjoy it.

Since a snow storm is the only thing that will keep me from going to work on Monday (I thought about a broken leg, but I'd probably have to get a ride & go in anyway), I am planning to use that time well. This is what I'd do if it snowed and we still have electricity.

work on the rainbow chili recipe
clean my room, which means sorting papers, books, and yarn
clean Mark's room, which means sorting the whole families clothes --- most of which should be given away
knit and/or crochet
read
write
do things with important papers
make Rainbo Gumbo
play Risk on a real board with real people
make hot chocolate with real dark cocoa and a touch of chili
watch Chocolat again
use all of my facial products
exfoliate my feet
exfoliate Bob's feet (if he lets me touch them)
read
make bread
catch up on blogs

I wonder how much I can get done today (Sunday) and tomorrow (the theoretical snow day)? If it lasts til Tuesday, I may actually do something!

Focus Friday... ooooh look at the butterfly... I said Focus!!!!

2009-02-27T03:16:00.000-08:00

UN-

When I decided to be a Tax Professional, I agreed to give up spring. As I do each year, I am rethinking that decision.

In SC Spring usually comes around April 3. Sometimes late in March. Never as late as May --- that is full on summer. Spring is a lovely day. Maybe it will be on a Sunday this year, and I won't miss it.

SC weather is freaky. I don't think it's unique, but it is my personal pain in the patootie.

Yesterday, I went outside and felt one of those perfect breezes. Not hot or cold. Gentle, like a caress. It had very little scent, but if I had to say anything, I'd say it smelled like a decision. Am I going to be winter or spring today? Since it couldn't decide, it was perfect. The breeze touched a robin and a mockingbird, the neighbor's cats, the bare green azalea bushes... and me. A rare moment.

Today, it is supposed to be in the 70s. I am hoping this is true, since I am wearing a short sleeved blouse. I think it will be sunny. It will pretend to be spring. Some of the flowers will be fooled. My sister's daffodils are already up in full glory. The neighbor's cats will hunt or sun, depending on whatever moves cats.

Sunday or Monday: a cold front moves in. We may have a wintry mix, and this time it may be real. Not the powdering of confectioner's sugar we got in January. A whole day and night (night and day) of snow & ice.

South Carolinians can't deal with snow and ice. We don't have the equipment. We still speak in hushed whispers of the winter of 77, and this time, we aren't talking about the recent unpleasantness between the states. That year (or was it 78?) had TWO ice and snow storms, each lasting over a week.

So when it snows, or even gets cold, we don't know what to do. We run to the store and try to buy gloves and mittens, only to remember they only sell those in August. We hunt through the boxes and find eight or nine stray mittens, none matching. We make the kids wear them anyway.

"Here, Mark, take the odd one, just use one hand in the snowball fight, OK? Fine... give Roslyn the pink one."

We don't have gloves. We have four or five bathing suits (which we buy in January.) Even I have four bathing suits --- all black. But that's not the point. NO GLOVES! Don't even get me started on snow boots. I usually wrap duct tape around my kids old shoes, hoping to cover the worst holes, and send them out. It's not like the snow is going to last more than a day.

SOOOO:
this week, I am going to: find gloves.
Buy bread and milk and canned food for the two ~~hours~~ days without electricity.
Find the board games.
Water the plants.
Put the plants outside for spring.
Bring the plants inside for the wintry mix.
Complete 15 corporate tax returns, January's bookkeeping, individual returns, payroll, and a worker's comp audit.

Friday slipped by me

2009-02-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

Oh look... it's Sunday.

I mentioned to my boss that I'd put in 50 hours in the past week. He said, "So you should have generated $2500 in revenue." I told him that I'd spent a lot of time on the phone, helping other tax preparers, and chatting with clients. I suggested that he should fire me and hire someone who was more efficient. He rolled his eyes.

I am probably not leaving the house today. I have missed church. I am dressed, but only because my pajamas are in the laundry. I have three books: A lion among men by Gregory Maguire (Wicked), A Mote in God's Eye & The Inferno Two: Escape from Hell both by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.

I am celebrating my new broadband by dropping in on all sorts of pretty blogs and playing "Pirates" on Facebook.

Oh yes: the two men who Time-Warner Cable sent to install our cable this time were great. Professional, efficient, fairly quiet (except for the drilling, which is to be expected.) They were subcontractors with Knight Enterprises. Since I trashed the other guy (and I don't know what his subcontracting firm was), I think I should be fair and say that this was a much better experience. I wonder if I can request Knight Enterprises any time I have trouble with TWC?

To attempt a Focus Friday, on Sunday:

Today I am going to do my sister's bookkeeping and tax return.
I watered the plants, and I think the repotting can wait.
I really want to start some seeds, but I'm not going to push it.
I'm going to hug my husband, my sons, my daughter-in-law, and my grandchildren.

Have a great week!

Focus Friday already?

2009-02-13T03:58:00.000-08:00

OK, this is what I did. Nothing. Not nothing like eating bon-bons and catching up on Days of Our Lives. Nothing, like tax returns, payroll, payroll tax reports, bookkeeping, research, and other nothing. Nothing on my list except :::drum roll please::: finish the church's year end and January reports.

So this week's list: see February 6th below.

And what's really sad, although I still haven't repotted the plants, (which I think are called Pothos or something even if mine should be called Pathos) they are NOT DEAD YET. Even though one of the cats grabbed one and dragged it, dry pathetic soil and all, half way across the living room. Even though Mark just grabbed it and stuck it back in it's pot. Good grief.

OK, so the plants are a priority.

See ya next week!

Sunday morning

2009-02-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have made a lovely grocery list, and hope to hit the Piggly Wiggly before the Baptists get there. I did not go to work at the church yesterday, so I will do it today. Right now, I'd better get dressed and go. I hope to have more time for writing later today. I ought to say hello to my family, I guess. I wonder if they miss me?

Focus Friday Part deux: Revenge of the big plans

2009-02-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

OK: This is what I said I would do:

Sort papers, especially the health/insurance papers.
Complete Ellen's bookkeeping
Either find someone to fix the stove top or buy a new oven.

This is what I did:

I mostly sorted the papers, but didn't do what I needed with the insurance stuff.
I did important bookkeeping like W-2s... but crap, I think I forgot to write a payroll check. People get touchy about that stuff...
Bob & I searched high and Lowe's and found a great stove. It's glass top, but this time the top is sort of grey so it will be easier to clean. The oven heating element is under a plate so that when stuff spills it won't burn on the the element. I am pretty excited about that one. Last I heard, it was installed and ready to go.

OK, THIS WEEK:

I will finish the insurance stuff.
Repot my plants. It's not everyone who can kill one of those ivy-like plants you find in restaurants. I forget what the plant is called, but mine are sad. My African Violets aren't too happy either. New pots!
Finish Ellen's year end bookkeeping.
Finish the church's year end & January reports.
Write e-mail to T. & V. about meeting with parents about CSI.
Look at M.'s PowerPoint on the school & comment.

On another note, and another blog, I'm starting the Angel Way of Eating on Monday (since I have a stove) and I want to spend some time thinking about what food I like and what I can easily prepare, while still getting all colors, including white.

Sadly, most of this stuff needs to be done this weekend if it is going to be done at all. And this weekend looks like:

Saturday

9-1 work at main job

1-2 transport & lunch

2-5 work at church

Sunday

10:30 church

11:45 grocery shop (I've been told you need to get there a little before noon to beat the Baptists)

12:45 possibly work at church OR home time

3:00 Cataclysm class (as Bob calls it.)

Progress

2009-02-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes weekends are made for nothing. Doing nothing. And that is pretty much what I did this weekend... such as it was.

I worked Saturday morning from 9 to 12. I was supposed to go to the eye doctor, but when I got there... no doctor. An apologetic woman who had nothing to do with the situation said the doctor wasn't there today. It was nice of her to apologize, but of course, I wasn't mad at her. I looked at glasses and found a pair that can be tied into a knot and still won't break. AND they don't make me look like Sarah Palin, John Lennon, or Mr. Magoo. So if I can find the doctor in, I will get new glasses.

Saturday afternoon, I decided to lie down a bit before: cleaning the house, sorting the papers, buying a stove, going to church to do bookkeeping, doing my sister's bookkeeping. I end up reading Living with the Dead, by Kelley Armstrong. I love her Women of the Otherworld series. I buy them when they are still in hardback, so you can see I'm serious about this.

So... other than a good book and a little alone time with my darling husband, Saturday afternoon was NOT productive.

Sunday, I had BIG PLANS. Instead, I didn't leave the house, except to take the trash out. I cleaned a little, finished the book, played with the grandbabies (who had spent the night), and sorted my files. I still didn't find the main thing I was looking for, but I found other important things, so that is good. I'm also still looking for a bag with Christmas presents I misplaced...

And now it is Monday, I have to work at the church tonight and tomorrow morning. I am here in the country until 6 p.m. I am VERY BUSY and not complaining, since that's where the money is.

Tomorrow night, Bob & I will go stove shopping. If I finish my sister's bookkeeping too, that will be two down on the to-do list. I forgot the third thing... oh yeah. Papers. I'm half-way done on that one. I think I'll get some exercise by patting myself on the back.

Focus Friday

2009-01-30T03:44:00.000-08:00

This is something from Thrifty & Chic Mom. She encourages folks to focus on something(s) to accomplish in the next week, then check back in with her on Friday. Pretty cool, sort of like a weight watchers weigh-in, only, it is to be hoped, less humiliating.

I heard about it through Yaya, who also has a cool blog.

This fits in with my whole intentions (paving a three lane highway to my own personal Hell right now), posty notes and plans. So here I go.

At work, I've been making a list of what I wish to accomplish each week. This is supplemented by the tax returns, client crises, and daily research projects my boss likes to give me. It has worked so well that I've kept each week's to-do list so I can see what I have really gotten done.

At home, it's posty notes and letters on the fridge. Not quite as successful, but that is probably because I am at work 50+ hours a week and at home... not so much. Maybe I should put the posty notes on my pillow.

OK: THIS is what I need to do at home this week:

Sort papers, especially the health/insurance papers.
Complete Ellen's bookkeeping
Either find someone to fix the stovetop or buy a new oven.

Did you know that the glass top of a stove will shatter if you drop a pan on it? And did you know that it costs almost as much to fix it as it would to buy a (cheaper) range? And did you know that some repair people won't work on Frigidaire?

Now, I'll write my list on posty notes and get to it.

writers and witches, and words...oh my!: announcing...

2009-01-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

In other news:

A really interesting give-away. I plan to win, but go ahead and try. LOL

Go to this blog:

writers and witches, and words...oh my!: announcing...

Comment and be entered in a contest to win 13 things that will help you get through winter.

The Posty-Note Way of Life

2009-01-19T04:44:00.000-08:00

OK, it's like three weeks into the new year and I'm still working on the good intentions thing. Actually, my system has worked well at work, where I have made a list of what I want to accomplish each week. I am saving the crossed-off lists because it makes me feel good. For one brief shining moment, there was: a done to-do list.

I realized that I had expressed some serious intentions, but then I sort of forgot about them. I had things to do, you know? So now, I know that I need to express the intention AND keep it up front. Not in my mind... there is no room there. Lists work at work, where I have a desk and a calendar. For my home/self/others intentions, I need... TA DA: Posty Notes!

I love Posty-Notes. They are small, so the list can't be too long. They are mobile, so you can stick one in the car (for instance) that says "stop by the post office." They are multi-colored, so they look pretty.

The trick (or one of them) is to throw away a done Posty. There is nothing worse than finding an undated Posty that says: "call Ted." Who is Ted and why was I supposed to call him? So now, I either file them or throw them away.

So these are my intentions for this week:
1) Eat mindfully. Remember Annie's Angel Way and eat protein (white) and a rainbow (or two) a day.
2) Pass it. Remember that I am not responsible for the whole world. It is not a sin or sign of weakness to say, "That is not my problem, that is not for me to solve."
3) Express love and appreciation. Always.
4) Walk. Walk. Walk.

I will put these on Posty Notes so that I will think of them through out the day. My family will ridicule me, but I'm used to that. They do it with love.

On Monday

2009-01-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

I am thinking I am not good at intentions or goals or resolutions. Is there some sort of Loki/Coyote/Mercury god screwing around with all of my good intentions?

I had disturbing dreams all night. I dreamed my mother was alive, that there had been a mistake. I vaguely wondered how the cremation thing played into that, but I've been having these dreams the last two years, so I'm sort of used to them now. When I get them, it starts a series of struggle dreams. In this case, I was at a convention on the last day. I had to pack up the hotel room, but no one would move. I ended up trying to fix dinner for a bunch of people, including Bill and Hillary Clinton (Mom almost always brings them with her in my dreams.) There was strange food, like birthday cake and rainbow sherbet. Everyone kept going swimming. It was like herding cats.

I woke up when Bob came to bed and said (or thought I said), "I'm having crappy dreams, I'm glad you are here." I went back to sleep to more crappy dreams. In the morning, instead of feeling grateful to Bob for his warm presence, I was pissed off at him. I'm not sure why --- dream thing.

So, I go to my first job & it's OK. I get a lot done, which is good because there is a lot to do. I move on to my second job. Although I have a low-grade headache, I am feeling OK. I clean my desk and the space around it, which makes my boss happy. Then, I get yelled at by the employee of a client who is mad because I garnished her wages like the State of SC told me to. I politely (I swear, no eye rolling) told her I did what the letter said, and that I'd gotten an update on the amount. If there is a problem, she needs to call SCDOR. Another employee (a manager sort of) calls me. Between the two of them, they are in a tornado of a tizzy, and I am getting an earful. I am not amused. I am breathing deeply and thinking kind and patient thoughts. I am about to explode from an adrenaline rush that won't go anywhere, because I am a kind, patient, polite person. So when I get off the phone, I call my boss and threaten to quit. Then I calm down and he promises to back me up on the "no employees calling to bitch at Kathy" rule. I get through the day.

I go back to my other job and have another adrenaline rush when I find out I don't have the software to run payroll. Then I find out that it isn't ready, but they have a patch to download. It really isn't a crisis. So here I am with all of this extra adrenaline.

If I weren't sitting in my pajamas with an adrenaline headache, eating stale Breyer's coffee ice cream, I might go run around the block. Instead, I'm marveling at the fact that Breyers can get stale in my house. And I'm thinking I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. And hope for some help with my intentions for tomorrow.

But if it were easy, we'd all do it, right?

It's not stealing if you footnote

2009-01-04T07:25:00.000-08:00

I am taking ideas from Annie & Kim, and probably others I can't think of right now. Instead of writing goals (which worked out really well last year, huh?) or resolutions, I am writing out my Intentions for this week. I wrote some monthly goals on The Amortization of Goodwill, but I think I may need to take even that down a notch.

This week, I plan to walk at least one day. I will wear the cheap pedometer and try to reach 10,000 steps a day, even if I don't walk-walk. You know?

I will eat a good breakfast every day. I'm thinking peanut butter on whole wheat English muffins with a banana and low-salt V-8. Yum-yum.

I will make a list of things to do at work on Monday morning. No need to bore any of us with that right now.

I will be kind & patient, even if it kills me. No seriously. Practice breathing. Breath, don't sigh, don't roll the eyes.

I will read stuff that isn't so much fun as informative. The Board book & some stuff about middle schools & maybe a tax magazine. The good stuff.

I think that's enough. No wait: I'll wash dishes every day and not leave them in the sink.

That is definitely enough.

CRAZED MIND: #100 TA-DA!

2009-01-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

CRAZED MIND: #100 TA-DA!

As part of the blog-link thing, I'm pointing you to this blog, which is pretty cool. Also I get points in the give-away. Chocolate is involved.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

I am starting the year by preparing a traditional New Year's meal: roasted pork loin, hoppin' john, collards, and corn bread. The tradition has it that the hoppin' john (black eyed peas & rice) brings luck, the collards bring money, and the pork brings health. I've been hearing people say that pork is for "progress," but considering the large amount of pork eaten in SC compared to anything that can be called progressive, and I have to say, no. Health is ironic enough.

I don't make the collards like most people around here do. I don't throw in a slab of fat back and cook it until it looks like the lizard the cat puked up. If that's how you like collards, go for it. I cook some bacon, then saute the chopped collards in the grease. I add nutmeg and ginger and the crumbled bacon. (I put some of the bacon in the hoppin' john, though.) When it's wilted, I add some water, put on a lid and cook it until it's ready. For the family members who like the puked up lizard thing, I put some in another pot and boil the heck out of it. Collards are tougher than spinach, so you do have to cook them longer. Just not too long.

Hoppin' John is black eyed peas and rice, which can be pretty bland. I spice that up too, with onions, cumin, red pepper, & chili powder. If I had celery and green peppers, I'd add them too. However, the trip to the Food Lion last night after work was enough for now.

I make pork loin roast about twice a year, and it's pretty good, if I do say so myself. (Someone has to.) I marinate it in Paul Newman's oil and vinegar dressing (whatever I like at the time.) I cook it until it is NOT pink but not dry. It's hard to hit the exact time on that. I know that some chefs are saying a little pink is OK, trichinosis is not a threat anymore, but I don't buy that. Pork is the other WHITE meat, not the pink meat that makes you sick.

Other than eating, we'll sit around and watch the Gamecocks get their butts kicked, I mean win a bowl game. We'll play Risk, and take over the world by force, or maybe World Monopoly and just buy the world with debit cards.

And then with luck, health, and money in our future, we'll face the new year.

Evaluation Time

2008-12-27T03:19:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of this year, I set three goals --- not resolutions. GOALS. SMART goals. They were supposed to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. My goals were:

Number one: I will be healthy as defined:
1) BMI <25
2) Cholesterol range good
3) Thyroid good
4) BP good with medication

Number two:I will organize & clean my house.

Number three:I will become an enrolled agent.

Although I have taken steps in all areas, especially relating to my health & my house, I haven't achieved any of the goals completely. In these hard times, it is unwise to continue to carry employees who do not perform to the level of expectation. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let myself go.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I can't do that. So I need to evaluate the situation and see what I need to do for next year.

First, the goals were pretty clear. I've had that first goal in some way shape or form for 35 years. The second one was added about 24 years ago. Number three... I'll hold off on that one.

Let's look at the good things:
Goal #1: my cholesterol, blood pressure, and thyroid levels are all within the normal ranges. I have lost a little weight. I am now merely "fat" rather than "really fat."

Goal #2: although I wouldn't want anyone to drop in without calling, I can have my house presentable in a few hours. I have my important papers filed (mostly.) I still need to clean out the workshop that's become a storage room. I need to get rid of clothes and other stuff. My friend Margaret suggested that I take pictures of things that are meaningful so that I can let them go more easily. I am going to try that. Oh.. wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Goal #3: after I bought the Gleim computerized study guide and went through a few lessons, I stopped. I don't really know why. I think I can still just take the business part, but even if I have to start from the beginning, I'm just going to roll this goal over. I need and want the validation that passing the test will give me.

I think that more than anything, I am terrible at making goals. I think I may make "ought to do" goals instead of goals based on what I WANT or NEED to do.

I think that even though I WANT and NEED to lose weight I'm going to let that one rest this year.

I think maybe I should make monthly goals instead of yearly goals.

I think maybe I should just DO stuff, then write retroactive goals and cross them off.

I think maybe I should read up on strategic planning.

I think I'll think on this awhile.

The Secret is in the Sauce: Win a Keurig Platinum Brewing System and $50 worth of K

2008-12-27T02:58:00.000-08:00

The Secret is in the Sauce: Win a Keurig Platinum Brewing System and $50 worth of K
This blog is a gateway to other blogs. It's amazing how many interesting things are being said and done in BlogLand. I have a list of some of my favorite blogs on the right, but your taste & interests are probably different. Check it out.
If I win the Keurig Platinum Brewing System, y'all won't have to drink my muscle coffee any more. That will be sad.

Stuffness

2008-12-03T14:23:00.000-08:00

My life is full of stuffness right now. Stuff I have to do, stuff I have to buy, stuff I have to sort... In a manner completely unlike me, I get up every morning and start doing. I shower, dress, go to one job, where I plow through my things to do, drive to my other job, where I plow through an even larger list of things to do. I haven't stopped to think about THE BIG PICTURE recently, I have just done stuff.

This weekend, I will have some quality big picture time. I will clean and sort the files in the office to get ready for TAX SEASON. I will make lists of supplies, lists of procedures, lists of things to remember to tell people. I will also (I promise) clean my house, and maybe, just maybe, get a Christmas tree. Then I can think about what I need to do for Christmas.

For the rest of the week, I get up, I work, I sleep. And I guess that will have to do.

Thanksgiving parts I & II

2008-11-28T03:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to Bob's parents' house for Thanksgiving. It was a wonderful meal with wonderful people (and that's not just the turkey talking). The meal was relaxed and friendly. The food was varied: aside from the necessary standards of turkey, gravy and stuffing, there were green beans, rice, pickled peaches, cranberry sauce, a fruit compote (Nancy), a salad with feta, avocado, and cranberries (Kathryn), carrot/cumin tart (Edward), succotash (Bob), potato salad (Rhonda), collards (good, but I don't know who made them), pumpkin & pecan pie, chocolate cake (Edward), and a fruit cake that I actually liked made by Nancy.

After dinner, some cleaned up, some played pool, some chatted. Bob pulled out his guitar and the family sang. It was very wise of me to marry into a musical family.

Today we will go to my brother's house for more Thanksgiving. This will also be relaxed and comfortable. We will have all of the foods that mean Thanksgiving to my family. We will talk and laugh and pick up last Sunday's New York Times and read about other people. We will remember Thanksgivings past and be grateful that they are past. We will think of Thanksgivings to come, and be grateful that we have them.

What have we come to? A Thanksgiving with very little drama and a whole lot of warmth. And that is what I am grateful for.

My horoscope for today

2008-11-26T05:02:00.001-08:00

Making a commitment to your long-term health can assure years of increased vitality down the road. Transformative Pluto is entering your 6th House of Routine, enabling you to ruthlessly eliminate old habits that no longer serve you well. Consider changes to improve your diet and exercise program while you can. If you wait too long, the negative effects of an unhealthy lifestyle will begin to take their toll.

Begin to take a toll? Huh. That bell has tolled. That bell is pealing in the tower and the pigeons are deaf.

How is this different from any other horoscope I have and will read? It's this line: Transformative Pluto is entering your 6th House of Routine, enabling you to ruthlessly eliminate old habits that no longer serve you well.

I don't know about Pluto, but I really need some help eliminating old habits. Coincidentally (or not), I recently told some friends that I think my aversion to healthy eating and exercise is no longer based on a deep-seated emotional need, but on bad habits I developed when I was needy.

I used to suffer from the "when I get thin, I'll be able to get a boyfriend, finish school, get a job, make friends, be happy...." Back then, I think I sometimes sabotaged my healthy eating and exercise plans because I needed the fat as an excuse for anything that wasn't working.

Now, I am married and out of school, I have lots of good jobs (some which pay in cash, some in satisfaction), I have great friends, and some days, when I am feeling very brave, I will admit that I am happy. Once in a while I catch myself thinking that if I were thin, I'd be able to handle a tougher situation better ---then I call myself a liar and just do it.

But I am still fat, and the health bell is tolling for me.

I know how to eat well. I like healthy foods. I like to walk, especially now that it is fall and the weather is perfect. So what is missing?

Habit. If I have good food at my office, I'll eat it. But on the days I'm not alone and someone offers to buy me lunch my mind perks up and my mouth says, "I'll take two chili dogs and small fries." My stomach and my brain are saying, oh jeeze, Kathy, that is going to sit like a pile of grease in your stomach and you won't get anything done. Just say no, or at least see if you can get a grilled chicken sandwich. But Habit wins.

Habit has me in my warm jammies and socks within two minutes of hitting my house. Habit has me eating ice cream when I really do like fat free vanilla yogurt. Habit has me, period.

The question I ask myself (I suppose out of habit) is if I have so many bad habits, why can't I develop good habits? If my mind is so strong it can make me sick and sad, why can't I use that same mind to make me healthy and happy? What do I need to do to develop new habits?

Thanksgiving

2008-11-23T13:08:00.000-08:00

I really like Thanksgiving. Not just for the food, which is good, or the family, which is better, but as a sociological study. You can learn a lot about a person by asking what they do for thanksgiving.

Although I grew up in SC, my mother was born in Massachusetts, and so our Thanksgiving had a New England flavor to it. We had turkey & dressing, ham, mashed white potatoes, sweet potato casserole (no marshmallows), green beans, wild rice and cranberry sauce made with real cranberries. Until recently, we had a plain pumpkin pie and a plain pecan pie, with vanilla ice cream.

When I got married I found out that my husband thought white rice should be served at Thanksgiving. He also included pickled peaches (his father's favorite). He did not see the point of mashed white potatoes or wild rice.

I've since met people who insist that macaroni and cheese casserole is a traditional Thanksgiving dish. I won't object to mac & cheese casserole any day.

Another part about Thanksgiving is who does the cooking. My mom used to make everything, but once we got older, each child took a specialty or two and ran with it. My brother always makes stuffing --- often two kinds. My sister makes a wonderful sweet potato casserole that I depend on every year. I make mashed potatoes with cream cheese, white cheddar, butter, and sour cream that is probably a complete meal in itself. Thanksgiving has been planned, with a little tweaking necessary, since 1985.

My mother-in-law used to make the whole dinner too. She doesn't like to cook, so she started buying the prepared meal from the Piggly Wiggly. She added the pickled peaches, of course, and a couple of other things. When my sister-in-law joined the family, she started bringing a couple of side dishes. She does like to cook, and it is always a pleasure to taste the Swedish tradition she brings to food.

My friend Perry said he wasn't sure what his family would do this year. His aunt died, and she was the last of her generation. And she used to cook the dinner by herself. The cousins were talking about experimenting with family traditions, but Perry wasn't really happy with that.

Another friend tried to scale back the food, and polled the family to see what were the MUST haves. They couldn't get rid of anything, but sweet potatoes, and they added that back because what's Thanksgiving without sweet potatoes?

I guess we do have to move on. Give up the things we don't care that much for, even if they represent something. Let other people cook in their own way. Try new things. Welcome new people.

I am tankful for diversity of taste, tradition, and outlook. I am thankful to know so many wonderful people. I am thankful to be here.

Requiem for a Grandmother

2008-11-17T05:40:00.000-08:00

The weather on Friday varied from morose to violent --- a dark gray drizzle that may have been a very thick fog followed by thunderstorms, followed by the drizzle. The clouds were low like a wet wool army blanket. Even I could have used a ray of sunshine, and I adore rain.

I drove to Varnville for my daughter-in-law Katy's grandmother's funeral. Through a combination of circumstances: packing and bringing the babies after taking scones, tea, and Devon cream to Mark's school for teacher appreciation day, the weather, the fact that Varnville has few street signs & have no sense of direction,... I was 15 minutes late. I missed most of the service, but what I heard was nice, comforting, and kind. The Baptist minister was a joyous minister who talked about Katy's grandmother teaching everyone to dance. He approves and said he couldn't understand why the Baptists ever frowned on dancing.

Katy, her sisters, her cousins, her niece who is old enough to know, her aunts and uncles were all very very sad. If there was a small sense of relief that her grandmother died before her Alzheimer's disease took away her personality, it was held close. She was an important, dancing part of their lives, and they will miss her.

Some people say they can't go on when a mother or grandmother passes on. I understand that feeling. There are times even now that I know I can't roast a turkey without calling my mother and asking her how long to cook it. There isn't a meeting that goes by without me wanting to call Mom and ask how to handle a point of parliamentary procedure or how to approach a sensitive issue and get the support I need. And no one can count votes like she can. But if I didn't go on, I would be denying my mother's life.

People come and go in our lives. Some leave us to move to Georgia, others leave us by dying. Some just drift away. And if we feel our life is diminished by their loss, we need to hold them in our heart, remember their lessons, and live a bigger, better life because they have given us love, experience, strength, skills, knowledge, and most of all our own Power.

INTP

2008-11-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

I took the Meyers-Briggs thing-a-ma-bobby the other day, and I am INTP. Introverted, Intuitive (100%), Thinking, Perceiving. My counselor told me that only about 1% of people (maybe just Americans, I can't remember) are this type, and most of them are men. That makes sense to me, since I've always known I think/look at the world differently than most people and that I often think "like a man."

The original group facilitator and my counselor gave me some insight on what this means to me and how I deal with the world. I think that, for me, the most important lesson is that other people (99% of the people I deal with) don't face the world the way I do. This explains a lot.

Jennifer told me that the IT part is what makes me very naive in dealing with people. If people tell me they are nice & do two or three nice things, I believe they are nice. If that person does something terrible, I get confused, wonder what I did to make them act so out of character, and try to fix myself. I need a feeling person to tell me that the person is NOT nice, even if she said she was and gave me a cookie. I need my feeling & extroverted friends to clue me: She was not nice, and don't take cookies from people you don't know.

The intuitive part is the reason I have brilliant ideas but can't figure out how to share them. Ideas appear fully (of almost fully) formed in a panorama in living color with a lovely soundtrack. All of my stories ultimately begin "well, first, you need to know that God created the heaven and the earth..." I will eventually tell you why I bought a particular pair of red boots, for instance, but not before side trips to China, Italy and a Mayan temple or two. See? No, huh.

I can envision a great concept. I can see it, but I can't figure out how to get there from here. It is too big, and I don't know how break it down. When I break things down, I break them into their atomic parts. I just need a list. I need the sensing, judging people to get me going, to take the ball, as it were, and run. If I could just get over the introverted fear of asking for help...

So I am told there are lots of strong points in preferences... I think big, I have good ideas, I support the homeless... I just need the balance of other-preference friends. I am fortunate to have that, if I don't drive them crazy...

Goals

2008-10-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

Goals really suck. The only one of my three goals I've come close to is organizing my house, but even then it's limited to the main floor. I haven't studied for the enrolled agent exam, and now it's almost tax season again. I haven't exercised, eaten better on a regular basis, or lost weight. I am very disappointed in myself.

Through out the year, my to do list trumped my to be list. I am a year older, maybe a little wiser, but not where I want to be. I have spent more time on other people's wants and needs than mine, and even there, I don't think I was very helpful.

Well, now it October, the fourth quarter of the year. I have less than three months to pass the exam, clean the den (and everything else), and lose 15 lbs. Hmm. Better get to work.

Brave New World

2008-09-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

CSI has elected a new board. This is the third board elected by parents, faculty, and staff. The first board was elected by the charter committee.

Charter schools, like new nations, require great leadership, and the nature of that leadership is different at each stage.

Stage 1 is the inception, the revolution. A group of people, in our case parents and educators, decide they want a better place for their children to learn. They decide that this better way is so good, they want to share it with all children. They want to help improve not just the education of their own children, but all public education.

Once the idea is defined, it has to be nurtured into a plan. Someone must write the charter, which will describe the brilliant idea in a way that can be implemented and evaluated. The charter also includes the boring business part of education that most people in public schools don't have to think about. Buildings, food for children, insurance, access, funding.

The leaders have to sell this great idea to the Department of Education, to the local school district, and to parents who will be willing to send their kids to this new place.

And so a great charter school needs leaders who are visionary, charismatic, business-minded, persuasive, and trustworthy.

Stage 2: the first few years.

The school is new, but it is a school. Some new ideas will shine, others will fail. Because it is a charter school, ideas can be easily monitored, evaluated, and adjusted (within the bounds of the charter). Students & their parents will come. Some will love it. Some will hate it. New people will come and they will need to be acclimated. Teachers will have to learn a new way of teaching, an new way of thinking of themselves as teachers. They will have to see themselves as active decision makers in the class and in the school and not as employees who follow rules and fill out forms. (They will still have to follow rules and fill out forms, this isn't Utopia.) The teachers are leaders in a charter school.

The Leader, who is the principal or lead teacher or director, has to wear a lot of hats. She is the educational leader & curriculum leader as in any public school. She is also a business manager, a marketer, a personnel director, a lobbyist, and many many more things.

The Board of Directors is adjusting to governance over management. They have hired a manager, and it is to be hoped, she is managing. The board has to anticipate situations & set goals in order to determine what policies should be established. Policies are guidelines that help you deal with difficult situations. They are like the rules of death and a funeral --- it's already there so you can know what to do without thinking about it at a time when it's hard to think. This job is tedious, not nearly as much fun as building the actual school. Even though there are other policy manuals to crib from, it's still like reinventing a very boring wheel.

The Board leaders move out of the spotlight, but are still extremely important. They are watchdogs, cheerleaders, visionaries, business leaders, marketers, fundraisers, and policy makers. They make sure that the charter is followed, that finances are sound, that the future is solid, and most importantly: that children are learning.

I think that board members are acrobats balancing on a line of over-involvement in the management of the school by interfering with the manager, and under-involvement by trusting the manager too much and not overseeing the business of the school. Others don't agree.

Stage 2, the first few years of the school's operation, is a time of testing boundaries, trying on roles and figuring out what works and what doesn't work. The leaders need to be flexible, resolved, and ego-less. This is not an easy time.

Stage 3, which I believe Carolina School for Inquiry is entering, is more settled, although not stagnant. I have not been there yet, but I am hoping it is a time where we can concentrate on sharing our strength with other public schools. I'd like for us to show the state that an inquiry curriculum, an atmosphere of respect, & nurturing of family involvement can benefit all children. The children, the teachers, and the families at CSI are special, but they are not different. I'd like to spread the word.

So I see the board leadership continuing to oversee the sound fiscal policies & strong curriculum, while branching out into marketing & fundraising, so that we can let others know the good things that are happening at CSI. Stable, but not stagnant.

Since the beginning, CSI has had great leaders with the skills needed at each stage. The visionaries and the business minded have come forward. Some are still here and some have moved on. Everyone has left CSI a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little better. And for that and all of the great people who have converged in this time and space, I am grateful.

Friday Morning at CSI

2008-09-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

I spent the morning at Carolina School for Inquiry. Mark asked me to come sit in on his class. He said that when I come to school, I end up everywhere else but there. So aside from tallying the ballots for the mascot (I can't believe no one picked the Iguana!), I just sat and listened and watched.

It is always a joy to watch the learning at CSI. I was there during the morning meeting. They went over their expectations and talked about what was going on in their lives. Chris read a book called Mr. Lincoln's Way, and they talked about bullying and disliking people who were different and why a kid would think like that. The genuine dismay and confusion the kids felt about prejudice was heartwarming. This is South Carolina, and all of the kids have seen prejudice, but it still seems to be irrational to them. Why would people think like that? It would be nice if they could keep that wonder into their adulthood.

As a Board Member, I have to be at the school once or twice a month. As a parent and an advocate of excellent public education, I choose to go to CSI as often as I can. My visits are a tonic I try to take at least once a week. Like fresh air, exercise, and good food, it is necessary for my health and well being. I thank the teachers, the students, the director, the staff, and the parents for everything they do to make the school the joyful haven it is.

Go Gamecocks. Anywhere but in the middle of 5:00 traffic

2008-08-29T03:29:00.000-07:00

When the University of South Carolina plays at home there are several hours of tailgating before hand, as with many places. Whether the team is good, bad, or indifferent, the tailgating is first-rate.

There are these things called "Cock-a-booses" that are old train cars that are lined up on an abandoned train track. They sell for more than my house and are done up for tailgating parties. I've seen pictures of one that has a marble floor, mahogany bar, silk wallpaper, etc. It looks like the car in the Wild, Wild, West. The TV show--- not the movie.

There is a new condominium complex built simply so people will have a place to party before and after the games. For the less fortunate, there are wide parking spaces in lots (some with potties) that you can rent by the season or the game. And there is some parking beside the road.

For miles and miles around the stadium, there are parked cars, people staggering around, and an altered traffic flow. The traffic flows almost all in to the stadium before the game and out after (DUH). Everyone in Columbia knows that on Saturdays with a game, you do not try to go within ten miles of the stadium.

OK, so yesterday (Thursday), I leave my office at 4:30 to pick up Bob downtown at 5:00. I take my usual route, down Shop Rd to Assembly to Huger to Gervais. I remember there is a sink hole at Huger & Blossom, so I call and ask Bob how to avoid that. He says to stay on Assembly until I get to Gervais. I say, of course, I should have thought about that.

As I drive down Shop Rd, I see people buying or selling tickets. I don't think anything about that, since my boss had sold his tickets since he's going out of town this weekend. As I drive further down Shop Rd... did I mention that the Stadium is at Shop, Bluff, Assembly and Rosewood? I notice more and more cars and people, then the parking lots, then the traffic, then the traffic cones, then the... oh no...Williams Brice Stadium.

I call Bob and say, "Is the game TONIGHT?" He says, "Oh yeah, it is." Then he giggles. I say, I'll see you when I see you.

I get turned off Assembly at Rosewood and have to go about ten miles out of my way to get back to Gervais without hitting game traffic. Then I hit the regular five o'clock "help, I'm in my car and I've forgotten how to drive" traffic on Gervais.

Since Columbia isn't a big city, this didn't take more than 40 minutes all together, but it certainly was a lesson. To me at least.

A Culture of Respect

2008-08-22T03:14:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I taught social studies in a high school. A new principal was assigned to the school in rather unpleasant circumstances, but being Pollyanna, I decided to welcome him and give him a chance. I commented to a friend that it was nice of him to sit in the teacher's workroom every morning welcoming all of the teachers. She gave me THE LOOK.

"Kathy, does he say good morning to you?"

I said, "Well, no. I don't think he likes me."

She said, "He doesn't say hello to anyone. He is checking to make sure that we don't sign in other teachers."

Huh.

Over the next couple of years, it got worse. He told teachers that he knew they were only there for the paycheck and that only he cared about the students. He refused to talk to some teachers and lavished praise on others, for no obvious reason. Many not so hot teachers left (including me) and many more excellent teachers found better places to be. The school's test scores plummeted from Death Valley lows to someplace I didn't believe existed.

He is not there any more. He is at another high school in the district, working his magic yet again. Mr. Fixit.

The purpose of this is not to exorcise my personal demons (although it looks like I have some meditation to do), but to note that Richland School District One has a new superintendent. I have heard good things about him from teachers, parents, administrators, and community members. Hopes are high.

His job, as I see it, is not just to improve test scores. It is to revamp the entire culture of Richland One.

Although almost everyone gives lip service to "it's all about the children," and the vast majority of employees on all levels in Richland One believe that with all of their hearts, there is a powerful minority that views public education as a zero sum battle among parents, teachers, administrators, and central office. Notice there are no children in the equation.

There are many models (as close as Richland Two) of school districts that empower teachers, administrators, and parents, respecting their professionalism & knowledge while holding them accountable as professionals.

No zero sum games.

No condescending "lessons" in the ways of "these students."

No excuses.

A culture of respect for students, teachers, parents, and administrators.

Because we are all it this together. Because it is all about the children.

The First Day of School

2008-08-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of the school year. We are all very excited. Even the kittens seem to be especially annoying this morning. Mark will be in the upper elementary class, the oldest grade at the school now. He will be joined by Shayna, his sister-in-law's niece. This is her first year at Carolina School for Inquiry, and we are really happy she is joining us.

I can't think of a better place for my child to be. Every teacher cares about the children. The lead teacher/director knows every student and every family. They know or are learning how to interest each child in learning, how to get the child involved. They know when to push and when to pull back.

The kids know that they are responsible to themselves and to the community. They take care of each other, help each other in the classroom and out. They argue of course. They are kids. But their teachers help them find their words and work out the problems. And when that doesn't work, they find the lead teacher's office is a nice place to think.

Off we go...

People like me

2008-08-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Someone was talking about Minnesota, commenting that it was a very homogeneous society, and that that could be very comforting. My sister said that it was strange and in a way comforting to go to Ireland and see almost all of the people looking like you. I have heard people talk of tracing roots to parts of Africa and seeing people who looked like them. There was a feeling of homecoming in each of these cases.

I am not sure where I fit in this, because I don't feel really comfortable with people who look like me. I do, however, feel relief when I can be around people who think like me. When I don't have to argue, to defend my basic beliefs, to define my presumptions. I suppose that is what I would call narrow-minded in someone else.

I am thinking about this now, because it is raining and my head hurts, and I feel as if my world has been redefined. What I knew is not and what I believed is questionable. I need the balm of the society of people who think like me to reassure me and revalidate me. And then I might be able to readjust.

But not today.

Normal schools, co-eds, and reverse racism

2008-08-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

Isn't language an interesting thing?

Like how "co-educational" means men and women in a school, but the men are the students and the women are the "co-eds." This is even true at formerly all female colleges. What's with that?

In the old days, before integration, there were Normal schools and black schools. Although, I don't think they said black. Huh?

And racism means disliking someone because of their race. What is reverse racism? LIKING someone because of their race? Yet, it is used to describe a non-white person who dislikes white people. See, that's just racism. No reverse.

And how come groups that lobby for the interests of women or people of color (other than white) are SPECIAL interest groups?

All of these terms or words work on the assumption that White and Male is normal and other things are NOT.

And to conclude my musings: why can white men get away with saying that a woman or a black man couldn't represent their interests, when they have seen no problem with white men representing women and people of color (other than white) for centuries?

I'm just asking... :-)

Happy Birthday Barack!

2008-08-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get my mind around having a president who is a year younger than I am. That makes me feel older than the birth of my grandson did. Hmph. My husband suggests that the solution to my discomfort is to vote for McCain, but that doesn't work for me. I guess I'll adjust.

My mother used to ask me how old I was, then announce "Wow, you're old." I'd reply, so are you old woman. It was a family tradition, handed down from her mother. I have pretty much dropped it so far. Some traditions should die, don't you think?

So Happy Birthday Barack. I hope you will be the first president who is younger than I am. A very important first... for me at least.

PS: The spell checkers need to add "Barack" to their dictionaries.

Back to School

2008-08-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

It is almost time for school to start again and thoughts turn to ... standardized testing. Somehow that doesn't seem right, does it?

Our school is an inquiry-based, child-centered, public charter school. (Note the PUBLIC part, some people whose job it is to tend to the needs of ALL children seem to need reminding.) We started it because we support public schools, but reject the cookie-cutter, silent-lunch, accelerated-reader model that is popular. That works for some kids, but not for all. Not even for most. We wanted children to have a place where their curiosity, ingenuity, and responsibility were honored and nurtured. We wanted the learning to go on long before and long after the TEST.

Ironically, because we are new and untried, the TEST is what people see. And that is not a good thing.

Have I told you my favorite TEST story? I could scroll back and look, but I'm not going to. OK, here it is. When I was in school, I LOVED STANDARDIZED TESTS. Three or four days of silently bubbling in circles. Three or four days in which I did not have to talk to my teachers or other students. Three or four days in my element: me against the TEST. And I always won.

One year, when I was in high school, something happened. I decided I didn't want to take the TEST. I wasn't up for it. On the first day, I took the TEST but I wasn't happy about it. The second day, I was "sick." I stayed home and watched soap operas and game shows. The third day I returned with a better attitude and took the TEST some more. Sometime the next week, I got out of class to make up day two.

In all my years of test taking, the lowest I'd scored was the 97th percentile. On the day I had a bad attitude, I scored in the 86th percentile. Day three I was back up to 98th and on the make up day, I was at 99th percentile. The point is not that I am bright, or I am a good test taker (although thank you for noticing). It is that the scores were affected by a BAD MOOD. If that had been PACT or the SAT, my life could have been changed because I was in a BAD MOOD one day. And that is not a good thing.

Let me go back a bit and say, I understand and support the need for accountability in ALL schools. These are our children here. We can't subject them to the Education Fruit of the Month club and not check to see if it's working.

But who are the geniuses who make these magic tests that can tell us whether a child is learning with one test, delivered to one learning style, on one day? And to be fair to the geniuses, they don't necessarily think their test should be the end all and be all of accountability. This ain't law school.

The SC legislature, with the help of the SC Department of Education, is trying to come up with a new plan for assessing progress of students and insuring accountability of educators. Unfortunately, the legislature wants a single number they can look at and show on a 30 second television ad. They want to be able to compare apples, oranges, and roast beef. They want a definitive, concrete, cheap solution.

Bless their hearts.

But let us remember the children--- the ones today, the ones tomorrow, and the ones we once were.

Score!

2008-08-02T11:21:00.001-07:00

I finished Jane Eyre. It was pretty good, although I thought I'd finished it about 10 or 15 pages before Charlotte Bronte thought it was finished.

In high school, I didn't read the books I was supposed to read. Dickens or the Brontes or Henry James. I did read Jane Austen. I didn't have the patience or interest to slog through stilted formal writing. Now, I don't have much more patience, but I have the interest.

I think the main thing I take from Jane Eyre is that the world changes in some ways, but the characters are the same. Kindness, bitterness, smugness, arrogance, intolerance, fondness, curiosity.

I think it is interesting that Bronte painted the characters in a much subtler way than an author would now. I kept thinking, "How can she stand that pompous ass?" or whatever, and finally realized that was the point. Some of the characterizations are as ironic as Voltaire or Swift, but it took me longer to get it. About 30 years longer.

Now I'm going to re-read some of the books I did read when I was younger. My viewpoint has shifted, and I wonder how I will see the books I DID like as a teenager. I think they will still be great books, but I think I will be slightly less smug in my reading. One would hope.

The day after...

2008-07-31T13:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I started it out by messing up the computer system at St. Michael's and All Angels, which I'm pretty sure is a sin. It was a sin of enthusiasm, though.

Tuesday I went to a workshop to learn about the upgraded church accounting software. I kept thinking, that is so great! That's what I want to do! Just imagine the beautiful reports I can prepare! I can hear the Vestry now: "Yes, NOW I understand Fund Accounting." OK, you can see I was suffering from irrational exuberance as well as a severe case of accounting geekdom.

So I went into the church at 6:30 a.m. and backed up the old program on the only available media: floppy disks. I upgraded, and was surprised it worked. Then I tried to add the patch and found out I'd blown my RAM on both the network and the workstation computers. I knew my own computer wouldn't be able to upgrade. My computer had been put together by Jesus and Judas when they were teenagers.

So ellipse the computer tech having to cannibalize his own computer to save us, me feeling really bad about it, going to my other job and coming back to the church after lunch, and I have a nice computer borrowed from the Christian Education Director.

No Goals...

2008-07-23T07:10:00.001-07:00

What is it with me and goals? I am an intelligent, adult woman. I set the goals for myself. But mention goal and BOOM! I don't do it. If I set brushing my teeth as a goal, I'd have green fuzzy teeth in a week. What is it?

I eat veggies ALL THE TIME. I love veggies. I especially love veggies in the summer, when they are so pretty and I can get them from my friends' gardens or from the produce stand down the road. I really love eggplant. It is so PURPLE. But have I had a veggie, other than lettuce & tomato on a fake fish sandwich? NO. I didn't even have the fried okra. I write a simple goal: eat well three days this week. I have an entire week without a vegetable. Can you explain this, beyond general orneriness?

I had lots and lots to say last week, but I didn't sit down and write once. Not one time. I wrote a snippet in my red suede IRL journal, and that's it. I LIKE TO WRITE, but make it a goal and it becomes a chore and I'm out of here.

OK, I did read. I finished Labyrinth by Kate Mosse and read Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen and Personal Demon by Kelley Armstrong. All really good books. I have started Jane Eyre, which isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I glanced at the Board book.

I have probably gained 10 lbs, although my lying scale says I haven't. I feel like a beached whale. Someone around me must be on a diet. I always gain weight when people start talking about dieting. Maybe it's that a friend of mine and my daughter-in-law are both being encouraged to gain weight. I'm being a good role model. A good beached whale role model.

This is what I have to say about all of that: No New Goals. For awhile. And I think I'll go eat some pineapple.

More goals... less goals... more or less

2008-07-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

One or two of my horoscopes this week have told me to put my long term goals on hold. I was shocked! shocked! I say. No one puts long term goals on hold. Long term goals hold us. How can I continue to exist without long term goals?

Same as always, I guess, considering the state of my long term goals right now. As I mentioned, I'm not sure my long term goals are working for me right now. I am so overwhelmed with short term tasks that I am neglecting the long term.

Of course, the long term will come, with or without my help. But I think I deserve... no, I NEED a break. So these are my short term goals.

Write in my blogs at least three times next week.
Eat well at least three days next week.
Work as hard as I can four days next week.
Stand (or sit or swing or walk) outside at least ten minutes each and everyday next week, even if it rains.
Forgive myself as I would forgive others.
Expect as much from others as I do from myself and respect & trust their ability to perform as expected.
Read one light novel. (At least.)
Read Boards that Make a Difference by John Carver.
Read one novel my high school English teacher would have wanted me to read (I'm thinking Jane Eyre.)
Refrain from killing anyone.

I'll let y'all know how this works for me.

Best laid plans

2008-07-06T04:48:00.001-07:00

I am still in the process of cleaning my kitchen. This process started last weekend... Friday, June 27. We cleared out all of the cabinets and put everything into the living room and dining room. Yesterday and today, we are scrubbing the cabinets themselves.

I am not thrilled to admit that we have a cockroach problem. Now, most people in SC have bugs in their houses. Ants, spiders, and of course Palmetto Bugs. Most people in SC have a cockroach now and then. But not like us.

And so, I am using every natural and unnatural method I can to get rid of them. My son Joseph has wisely suggested that if you poison them, they grow stronger and we are probably contributing to the destruction of the planet. One day the world will have nothing but cockroaches, Easter grass, Christmas tree tinsel, and Peeps. And so we are exploring natural means to repel and possibly kill (yeah, right) all of the cockroaches.

OK, so killing the cockroaches is only step one. Cockroaches are very sentimental. Every month, they join a Cook's tour of Cockroach cemeteries and toilets. They get their little cameras and take pictures of the place Uncles Albert thru Zebadiah died. Then they stay. If you want to get rid of cockroaches, you have to clean up all of the cockroach poop and pieces in your cupboards, cracks and counters. I am not kidding. One single cockroach leg wedged in the wheel of the drawer pull and BAM!!! Here come the tour buses.

This job is harder and grosser than we had expected. Joseph gets to clean the upper cabinets because he is tall and I am not. Mark cleans the shelves that come out. I clean the lower cabinets, because I can. I sit on the floor when I can, but mostly I am kneeling on a towel wondering why I thought ceramic tile floors were cool and scrubbing deep into the recesses of cabinets. The good part is that my cabinets are all white, so I can see when they are clean. The bad part is that the cabinets are white, so I can see when they are dirty. Oh well.

So we worked for several hours yesterday and will (the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise) be finishing today. Then we get to wash every dish, spoon, and pan; throw away pieces and parts that don't go to anything; marvel at the cool stuff we have (panini anyone?); put the flour, sugar, rice, beans, pasta, more pasta, and more rice into glass containers; and rearrange all of this so that we can cook & eat in our kitchen once again.

I seem to say this a lot, but: Wish me luck.

Half way through the year

2008-07-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

Look, it's July 1. Where has this year gone?

I sit here at work with a sinus headache, trying to concentrate. This isn't happening. It will be ok. I am a firm believer in OTC medication, and I've taken Corisidan BP for colds. I don't know if this will help, but I also have chocolate and tea. One way or the other, I'll feel better. Or not.

I am still considering my goals, as I set them last January. It is interesting to me that the least defined goal, the one I was pretty sure wasn't going to happen, is further along than the others. I am organizing my house.

I am usually able to organize one or two areas of my life at a time. My house has always been the lowest priority. That is unwise, since your house is your base, your sanctuary, your home. Its comfort or chaos can affect your whole life.

So now, I am slowly weeding out junk. It isn't being a Junk Junkie, and harder to quit, especially if you have raised your kids to think that some day a broken Star Wars light saber might be fixed and come in handy. If I try to throw out too much (or give it away--- it doesn't matter), I start to hyperventilate. I am convinced I have just handed over something that will show up on Antiques Roadshow. "Yeah, the lady just handed it to me, and it's worth $10,000. All I had to do was clean off the cat poop."

I am not really very far in the junk junkie department, really. But what I have done is organize books on bookshelves and set up a shelf/desk system in my kitchen, which is my work area. What this means is that if I want to pay a bill, I can find the bill, the checkbook, a pen and (and this is a biggy) A STAMP. If I want to pay on-line, I can look in my book and find my user name and password. If I want to write a letter to a friend... oh, wait, what did I do with that address book? Ok, well, I'm working on it.

This weekend, after the July 4th barbecue, after my sinus headache goes away, after I finish this book I'm reading... I will clean my kitchen cabinets, put stuff in these cute glass containers I bought, throw out pieces of blenders I don't have and warranties for telephones with dials I don't think I've ever owned. I will put the three different bottles of chili powder, four bottles of cinnamon, two bottles of something without a label back on a shelf and USE them.

Really.

Goals, dreams, and wishes

2008-06-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

It is now summer, and I am not really going anywhere on any of my goals. It seems that the little bits of life have interfered, or maybe I let them draw my attention away from my goals. Life is important of course, but were these things I wanted to spend time on? Maybe my goals weren't really my goals, just dreams or wishes, or even "shoulds" I have placed in my life. I'll have to think about that.

In the mean time: Goal 1: I haven't lost a pound. The scale hasn't budged, and I think it may be broken, because my clothes are actually TIGHTER!!! I am embarking on a healthy eating plan (never say diet, remember) which involves mindful eating.

When I went on the Best Life Plan (not a diet), I lost weight in the preliminary stage. I kept careful track of my eating, typing it into the Best Life calculator and meal diary. It worked really well for me, because I like to see those numbers. So I thought about what I was eating and what I needed to eat more or less of. I didn't give up anything, I just thought long and hard before I ate some things.

The second stage of the Best Life Plan involved giving up certain foods. Some of it wasn't a problem for me. I eat whole wheat, brown rice, and whole wheat pasta. I like to try new grains. But the Plan asked me to give up all caffeine and full fat cheese. And it was tax season. And that wasn't going to happen. I decided the plan wasn't great for me, because I can't work with any plan that tells me to completely avoid anything. I know I'm contrary, but if you tell me NOT to eat liver, I'd probably crave it, even though I hate the stuff. Since I've only seen I cheese I wouldn't eat one time (it had volcanic ash in it), I'm not going to fare well on a diet without cheese.

So now, I am taking my thoughts and the thoughts and insights of others, and trying to eat mindfully. Annie from writers and witches, and words, oh my! has talked about eating the angel way. It is intuitive, mindful eating (at least as I see it. I'm less spiritual than Annie.) She speaks of eating a rainbow, which ties in with my mother's belief that your plate should be pretty, look at the colors of food and see what works together. By eating a rainbow (fruits and veggies of different colors), you can pretty much cover your dietary needs for vitamins, minerals, and other good things fruits and veggies have. She also talks about white foods, which are protein. Because of her, I realized I am really protein deficient, which explains a lot.

The plan, or lifestyle, is really pretty simple, and makes mindful eating much easier. It's not a matter of eating whatever I want (like the Karmal Sutra dinner plan), but eating what I really need to eat, and being aware of what my body and my mind need and want. Interestingly, I find myself craving pineapple, juicy peaches and strawberries, without the ice cream. And knowing I can have Karmal Sutra means I don't HAVE to have it.

So we will see what eating more protein and lovely fruits and veggies does to my energy levels. And later I'll talk about Goals 2 & 3.

Optimism

2008-05-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

I am feeling pretty optimistic these days. Is it the weather? Warm and sunny with an occasional thunderstorm to keep my blood flowing? Is it that school is almost out and Mark and Roslyn will play croquet and badminton all summer (with a time out for pottery camp, zoo camp, soccer camp, and vacation Bible school)? Is it because I've almost caught up with Not Tax Season?

Who knows. I think I'll enjoy it. Lounge in the hammock and read the ten thousand books I got from my friend. Think about a yard sale, a garden, a summer party. And take a nap.

Goals again

2008-05-19T05:38:00.000-07:00

I am still struggling with Not Tax Season, trying to catch up with all of the things I couldn't get done before April 15. I am making progress in some areas, though.

I bought a study program from Gleims to help me prepare for the Enrolled Agent Exam. So far, it seems to be really helpful. I can find out what I was missing right away, and figure out why I was confused. I am learning a lot, clarifying more, and feeling pretty confident that when I take the business portion of the SEE in June I'll pass. That is all I need as far as the exam, since I passed the other two parts last year. After the exam, I submit one of the IRS' clear and simple forms asking to be an enrolled agent. They will do a background check to make sure I'm not a criminal, and bam! there I am.

The healthy eating stuff isn't going so well, in large part due to the two for one Breyers ice cream sales the past month. Although my scale hasn't budged up or down, my clothes are shrinking. I'm afraid I have to admit that the scale is wrong, not my clothes. Bob is at least theoretically committed to a walking plan. I mapped out a route that is slightly more than one mile from our house and back. It has some hills, but the neighborhoods are quiet and shady, so it should be a pleasant walk. We'll see. I think we'll start Wednesday morning.

Starting tonight, we eat yummy healthy foods. Really. Bob suggested tostados, which surprised me. When we first married, his idea of a good meal was meat with a side of meat. Now, he likes veggies and more veggies. He doesn't even complain about the whole wheat pasta and brown rice any more.

Organizing is still going on. Cleaning is happening, sort of. Goals are getting closer. And now it's time to get to work.

Rememory

2008-05-09T05:00:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking about the way that memory works. There are lots of reasons. For one, I am utterly amazed that two people can see the same thing and remember completely different things, down to directly contradictory direct quotes. But that isn't what I've been thinking about this morning.

I have memories from childhood and beyond that are just bits. I don't remember what happened right before, I don't remember what happened right after. I have other memories that are complete episodes, with scene changes and sound. Why is this?

I like to talk about my experience riding the school bus as a first grader, but I have been thinking about the two memories I have, and I wonder what went in between. I remember getting on the school bus and trying to sit down. A big girl (who was probably 10) told me I couldn't sit there because seats had been assigned. Then the bus driver (who was probably 16) yelled at me to sit down or get off. Since I can't see myself getting off, I must have sat down. I don't remember where or anything else about the bus ride. I just revisit the image I saw, standing in the aisle, staring at a white blur of a face telling me I couldn't sit. I remember the mouth moving. I don't remember the eyes. I know it was a girl.

I also remember hiding behind the bushes, waiting for the bus to come, then going home and telling Mom that I missed the bus. Since I remember the wait being pretty long, I have to think that my parents must have been suspicious. I was wondering if those were my only attempts to ride the bus in first grade. I know we joined a car pool at some point, which was pretty traumatic for Mom. I wonder if I ever rode the bus or if this was what happened in the first two days of school. I remembered just yesterday that before I was yelled at, I had really wanted to ride the bus. Maybe Mom had finally relented, then I changed my mind. I guess I'll never know, since Mom is gone and Dad doesn't remember that sort of thing.

As I write this, I think, good grief, where's your navel? I wonder why this small piece of memory sticks with me and affects my life even today.

I rode the school bus through middle school and part of high school, with many more traumatic incidences, but it is first grade that came to my mind when I decided not to make my kids take the bus to middle school. I decided that there are character building exercises, and there are exercises which tear your soul to shreds in such small ways you don't notice until you go looking for that piece of you. I'm still not sure what the bus ride was. Did I learn compassion because of that cruelty? Or did I become more timid and afraid? Or both.

But that's enough of my navel lint for today.

Listens well and follows directions

2008-04-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

I always received high marks for listening in school, because that is what it looked like I did. From first through fifth grade, I ventured into class participation three times. Each one ended badly. I learned that even though the sign on the wall says “There is no such thing as a stupid question,” no one really believes that. I learned to research and ask books my questions rather than ask people.

Sometime between 9th and 12th grade, I became more open with my opinions. I became a debater. I learned to listen in order to think of a response. I listened to argue and the point was to win, not solve a problem, and certainly not to be convinced.

In an attempt to become a good listener, I picked up on the idea of echoing what a person says to make them realize you can relate, or something. I think I got it wrong, because I turned into one of those boors who responds, “Oh yes, I knew someone who had triple by-pass surgery like you are getting. He died.”

I developed into a person who needs to solve problems, even if they aren’t my problems and even if they don’t want to be solved. (And, no, I am not a man.) If you tell me your problem, my mind goes to work trying to fix it. You want me to listen; I am too busy solving your problem to hear you. As part of this, I often feel defensive about a problem. Even if it isn’t my problem and even if it doesn’t want to be solved, I feel that I have failed because I can’t solve it. See? This attitude isn’t conducive to listening.

And so, at an embarrassingly late age, I developed the ability to listen without thinking about solving the problem, without thinking of my response, without planning a counter-argument. It is a struggle. I had to realize that listening is a skill that is not inborn, but learned. I had to practice. I had to bite my tongue. I had to fail.

Now that I have developed this nascent skill, I have another problem.

Being open-minded can lead people to believe that I am easily swayed, simply because it is possible to sway me. Sometimes when I do a really good job of listening, others quit listening. Give them an inch, man…

I feel like I’m doing all the work. Compromise becomes the breakfast the chicken asked the pig to help her with. She said, “I’ll supply the eggs, and you supply the bacon. That’s fair, isn’t it?” And no, it isn’t fair.

And so, even as I approach 50, I still stumble between appearing to be a bully or a toady. I try to be an open-minded, calm, rational, mother-earth goddess type, and I end up stomping my foot and saying, “That isn’t fair. I’m listening and you should too.”

Oh well. As Jimmy Carter said, “Life isn’t fair.” And I’m not always fair either.

Promises promises

2008-04-18T07:10:00.001-07:00

Now that it is NOT TAX SEASON, I will write more on this blog. I will eat better and more regularly. I will walk more and sleep less. I will plant the seeds I bought. (The pepper seeds I planted have sprouted!) I will think about what I want to do and where I want to take my life. I will search out new sources of information and knowledge.

I bought a used book yesterday. It is about the beginnings of the study of prehistory. A study on a study. It is interesting. Surprisingly well written. You know how social scientists are. If they write a readable book, they are accused of being fluffy, so they write tortured, convoluted sentences that last longer than the 100 years war. Like that one there. Bless their hearts.

I will study studies and other new and exciting things. I will... hmmm... nap time.

March 1

2008-03-01T04:31:00.001-08:00

Is it March 1 already? Although the groundhog saw his shadow last month, the daffodils didn't get the news. My yard thinks it's spring, and so do I. I'm ready to get into the garden and dig, plant, clip, and enjoy.

Unfortunately, it's still tax season, so there isn't as much time for that as I'd like. Something I might want to consider, as I consider my career choices. It would be nice to see spring one year. Not just through the window as I stare out wondering how much Lowe's stock sold for when it was bought, "Oh, I don't know, four or five years ago."

My new years resolutions are not going so well. I don't even eat breakfast unless I pick up a steak, egg, and cheese biscuit from Bojangles. (Which sounds good right now, as I get ready to head to work on a gorgeous Saturday morning.) I have lost weight, but that has more to do with overwork and a slight case of pneumonia than any healthy eating on my part. The only green thing I ate last week was an M & M.

I have begun to organize my space, even though I never did manage to solidify that goal. I bought a cool white cube shelf and some red and blue bins and stuff. I can find paper, pens, folders. By next week, I will have a file for bills, letters, and to be filed. Some day, I may have what I need to write a thank you note, sympathy card, or birthday greeting AND mail it. We can dream, huh?

OK, off to work. Maybe I'll write some more later. That would be something.

February 1

2008-02-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

Since it's February 1, it's time to evaluate my progress toward my goals for this year. I suppose I should be 1/12th of the way toward completion. And guess what? I'm not.

Theoretically, you could say I've made a little progress on each of them. For goal #3, becoming and enrolled agent, I have explored some possible courses I might take. I didn't expect to do anything serious until after April 15. No tax preparer does. Ever. So that's ok.

My second goal was to be organized. I am planning to clean my room and sort clothes this weekend, so I have hopes for this one. All of my horoscopes and inner feelings and counselors have told me that getting rid of junk, literally and metaphorically, is important to me and that this is a good time to do it. We'll see. In the mean time, I have a great plan for a desk, bookshelf, and baskets in what is now a breakfast nook holding a computer. I think I'll like it better as a mini-office. I like to work in the center of things, with light and warmth and air. The den, which I had planned to use as an office, is dark and cluttered. This will be better.

So if planning and good intentions are 1/12th of complete, I'm ok on that one for now.

#1 involved health and well-being. I am not eating any better, although I did buy green apples and oranges, and have eaten an apple. Today at lunch time, I thought about my goal and how to achieve it. Then I ordered some sort of super stuffed potato bites at Arbys. I can't really say that in any way helped me reach my goal.

I can blame TAX SEASON on the slow start on Goal #1 as well, but I am not going to wait until April 15 to improve my exercise and eating habits. I just have to remember that even little steps are good. And that taking care of myself, eating better, getting some exercise, will help me maintain the energy level I need to survive the next few months. It's a marathon, and I need to be fueled.

So my baby step goal for this month is to eat a nice breakfast (whole grain cereal and a banana, yum! yum!) and to walk for 15 minutes a day. The walk will probably be a stroll around my office yard (a large, woodsy yard) with a telephone in hand, but it will be a walk. And better than nothing.

Goal v To Do List

2008-01-03T03:32:00.000-08:00

As I try to sort through my goals to figure out what I want my world to look like on December 31, 2008, I keep running across things that need to be done now or soon or yesterday that don't necessarily have to do with my goals.

I am struggling with how to take care of business while keeping the larger goals in my view. I am already bogging down in the minutia of the year and drowning in a fear of failure or, heaven forbid, success.

And I wonder if I am thinking too much and doing too little. Or doing too much and thinking too little.

Oh well.

Goals 1 and 3

2008-01-02T04:13:00.000-08:00

I have established my 2008 goals. Numbers one and three are ready. Number two is going to require some honing.

Number one:
I will be healthy as defined:
1) BMI <25
2) Cholesterol range good
3) Thyroid good
4) BP good with medication

Number three:
I will become an enrolled agent

Both of these are on a pretty chart with an action plan & resources needed. I feel pretty good about number three. I feel OK about number one, even though it's a variation on the same goal I've had for 35 years.

Number two is harder. I will organize & clean my house.

This is hard for several reasons.

Like "being healthy," it requires a change of habit in order to sustain any changes. Unlike being healthy, it requires the cooperation of my household, who share my current sloppy habits. While some of them are more than willing to cooperate (at least in theory), some are comfortable with the disorder. They don't even want to change.

A second problem is that having a clean and organized house has become a great specter for me. It's the THING that stands between me and happiness. You know what I mean? If I lose weight, I'll be happy. If I get my degree, I'll be happy. It's the THING that lets me put my life on hold, spending energy planning for after the THING (craft projects, baking, writing). But life goes on even with the THING in the way, and I need to find a way to do what I want and need to do now.

The third problem may be related to the second. I can't get rid of things. I donated boxes of stuff to a yard sale which was not very successful. Instead of immediately calling the Sunshine House to pick it up, I decided to go through it one more time to see if I might need something. Not only did I come home with all of my junk, I ended up bringing home other people's junk as well. Admittedly, I got a nice baby bouncer for Gabe, but at what price? My "den" is now almost as packed with boxes as my "workshop."

So this goal is about more than cleaning my house. It is about freeing my mind and giving myself permission to let go. And while I understand this in theory, it does not make it any easier for me to throw or give away things.

In the next week or so, I'll set as my goal to find a way to make the Goal more concrete, measurable, and sustainable. Wish me luck.

Happy happy new year

2008-01-01T03:25:00.000-08:00

I have decided to make my resolutions in the form of SMART goals. It is a method of employee or project evaluation used in education and probably elsewhere. I'm going to give it a go in my life.

Since it comes from the education community, we know that SMART is an acronym.

Specific
Measurable
Action-oriented
Realistic
Timely

The idea is that a professional cannot be evaluated with a cookie-cutter evaluation form. It gives the executive/professional responsibility for his/her performance and establishes clear expectations from the beginning. It is flexible, and unless the organization is stagnant (and probably needs to get a new executive), the goals will change every year. An important part is that the supervisor/evaluator and the professional/executive agree that these are valuable things to accomplish this year. Together they set the goals and determine how success will be measured. They will begin on the same page and there will not be any surprises at the end of the year. "What do you mean, I didn't keep the teacher's lounge clean? When you said improve the morale of the faculty, I sent them to Cancun."

I don't know if SMART goals work for personal goals. If I don't succeed, that doesn't mean they don't work for anyone. (DUH). I just know that my previous attempts at action plans and resolutions and charts and 8 X 10 glossies with the arrows... no wait, that was Alice's Restaurant...anyway, that hasn't worked. And as someone has pointed out here before, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is nuts. (But he/she said it in a nicer way.)

I'm still working on my SMART goals. I'll post them and let you know how it works for me. This may take some thought.

Leadership, followership, and get out of the wayship

2007-12-18T03:58:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, I saw a poster that said, "Lead, Follow, or Get out of the Way." Over the years, I've done all of those.

Back then, I thought of myself as a leader. Since then, I have sometimes chosen to be a follower. Most of the time I just want to get out of the way. There are times when each of us will take these roles, depending on our situation, the people around us, and our choices.

I believe that sometimes a person has to decide to just Follow a Leader, within the bounds of morality, ethics, reason, and safety. You may pick your leader because of that person's knowledge, experience, and wisdom, or you may pick that person because you need a job. You shouldn't do anything that is not moral, etc., but sometimes you may have to do something that is tedious, silly, or a waste of time, because you have decided to follow the leader and you are working on the assumption the leader knows something you don't know. Even if it's where the payroll checks are.

I am not a great follower, which has made me a not so hot employee or student at times. I am hard working, skilled, knowledgeable; but sometimes I'm a pain in the patootie, bordering on insubordinate. I have learned that this is not only bad for me, it is bad for the job, the class or organization.

Being a not so hot follower has made it hard for me to be a great leader. It is hard for me to expect others to follow. I don't want to make decisions, I want to consult and communicate and carry one until everyone agrees or until Hell freezes over, which usually comes first.

Guess what? Sometimes a leader has to lead.

I learned this as a parent fairly early. Little kids need a parent to provide safe, orderly structure in order to feel safe exploring the world. They know you have their back. They know you won't let them go too far, so they can try to see what too far is. They know that if they fall, you will help them up. They don't want to discuss their options. They don't you to be more afraid than they are. They want you to lead.

Even adults want to feel safe so that they can explore and grow. I want to work in an office where the boss knows what the goals, standards of behavior, and expectations are, and expresses them clearly and consistently. I want to have some input in forming and freedom in how to meet these goals and expectations, but I want to know what's going on. I want to be safe so that I can do my job and not worry about whether the light bill will by paid.

A good leader leads, confidently setting up a framework in which each good follower can do his or her best work, so that the mutually defined goals of the organization can be met. How does that sound?

True Facts and Other Fiction

2007-12-14T01:53:00.000-08:00

At the risk of some serious mother-child repercussions, I'm going to share a true story about my 9 year old son and his last minute research project on the state of Virginia. The project wasn't last minute, but the research was.

My son announced that the founder of Virginia was "G. Piper." Since that didn't sound right to me (I was thinking John somebody or Pocahontas), I asked where he found that. He pointed to the computer screen. When he typed "founder Virginia" into Google, I got the "Virginia G. Piper Foundation" with a lovely photograph of their founder, Virginia G. Piper. I helped him sort through the other foundations founded by people named Virginia, offers for visits to historic Jamestown (which is not a bad thing to do), and websites announcing that Virginia is for lovers. Once we found the historic sites, we had to sort through a variety of reading and accuracy levels to get to some basic information. Then he had at it and made a nice little project.

My father has always said that it's not as important to know things as it is to know where & how to find things.

Today, anything you want to find is on the World Wide Web, where information is available in mind boggling quantities at mind boggling speeds. It is chock full of information of varying quality, viewpoint, and purpose. In reading some websites' lists of facts, you might wonder if the author missed kindergarten on the day the teacher talked about "truth" and "make-believe." And while I don't necessarily believe that all I need to know I learned in kindergarten, I do think that's a pretty important life skill.

Not only do we need to know where to find things, we need to know how to evaluate and place all of these things we find. In order to do that, we need a knowledge base. We need to have some basic information stored in order to evaluate other things and place them in our mind maps.

But formal education can't teach us everything there is to know in the world, and it would be a disservice to all of us to try. Formal education should be used to teach us the basic skills we need to survive and thrive as citizens, humans, and active learners. Those skills include reading, writing, and arithmetic, but just as basic: investigating, evaluating, and formulating the knowledge in a useful way.

In addition, we need to be able to apply the knowledge and skills at the appropriate times. No, not every war is like Vietnam; not every conservative is a Nazi; not every nationalist is a Fascist. But who has learned to evaluate the differences and similarities and use the terms and concepts appropriately.

On a more basic level, can we do math in the kitchen? Can we use geometry to figure out how much mulch to get for the garden? Can we remember that if a closed can of Coca-cola is put in the freezer, it will explode, and why? Can we decide what brand of power drink to buy or who to vote for for president by evaluating more than 30 second commercials? Can we think?

Once we think we know, can we present our ideas in a reasonable, persuasive manner? Can we listen to others and continue the process of evaluation and adaptation?

Learning goes on long after the final bubble has been blackened. Are our schools helping us become learners for life?

And if that is the goal, how do we evaluate that is a way that is consistent and quantifiable, which is and should be required in public education?

But that is another question, and I really don't have the answer to that one. I'm open to suggestions.